"How come you're late?" asked the bartender, as the blonde waitress walked into the bar.
"It was awful," she explained. "I was walking down Elm street and there was a terrible accident. A man was thrown from his car and he was lying in the middle of the street. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course.
"What did you do?" asked the bartender.
"I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting."
A couple decided to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary by hosting a big party.
The wife was excited and asked her husband what he thought was the bond that kept them together throughout the years.
His reply, “Our marriage certificate, dear.”
My sister was busy getting ready to host our entire family for Easter. On her to-do list was a hair appointment for her daughter.
"So, Katie," said the stylist as the little girl got up in the chair, "who’s coming to your house this weekend with big ears and floppy feet?"
Katie replied, "I think it’s my Uncle Brian."
A young lady stops at the gas station to fill up and realizes she has locked her keys inside the car. When going inside to pay, she asks for a hanger to unlock her car.
After a few minutes the attendant comes to help.
The not so bright lady is moving the hanger, while inside the car is her not so bright friend giving directions. "RIGHT, NOW LEFT, JUST A LITTLE MORE RIGHT…"
A young blonde with a coach ticket went up and sat down in the first class section of a plane going from Tampa to Los Angles.
The airline hostess said I'm sorry miss but you have to sit in the coach section.
The blonde replied " I'm blonde and beautiful and I'm going to LA " She wouldn't move.
Finally the first officer came up and whispered in her ear. The blonde jumped up and ran back to coach
The stewardess asked the first officer what he said to the blonde.
I told her First Class doesn't stop in LA