09/29/2023 from DailyJokes
#17578
An old man bought a well from a smart aleck.
The next day while on his way to the market he met the smart aleck who told him,
“I have sold the well to you but not the water. If you use the water you will have to pay for it.”
The old man stared at him for a moment.
Then he replied, “I was in fact planning to come to your place and ask you to empty the water. If you don’t, you will have to pay the rent for storing it in my well.”
Sometimes, being too smart doesn’t pay!
09/28/2023 from DailyJokes
#17576
As a group of frogs was travelling through the woods, two of them fell into a deep pit.
When the other frogs crowded around the pit and saw how deep it was, they told the two frogs that there was no hope left for them.
However, the two frogs decided to ignore what the others were saying and they proceeded to try and jump out of the pit.
Despite their efforts, the group of frogs at the top of the pit were still saying that they should just give up.
That they would never make it out.
Eventually, one of the frogs took heed to what the others were saying and he gave up, falling down to his death.
The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out.
When he got out, the other frogs said,
“Did you not hear us?”
The frog explained to them that he was deaf.
He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.
Moral of the story:
People’s words can have a big effect on others’ lives. Think about what you say before it comes out of your mouth.
09/27/2023 from DailyJokes
#17572
Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where the conversation turned to the subject of marriage.
Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer.
Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged,
So he should use his savings to buy a computer instead.
During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring.
Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted:
“Well, don’t you have something to ask me?”
Dave then got down on bended knee.
“Honey,” he said,
“Will you buy me a new computer?”
09/26/2023 from DailyJokes
#17570
Wife: Where are you?
Husband : At home love.
Wife: Are you sure?
Husband:Yes.
Wife : Turn on the mixer.
Husband : (turns mixer on) Rrrreeereeeereeee…
Wife: Ok my love goodbye.
Another day
Suspicious Wife: Where are you?
Husband : At home love.
Wife: Are you sure?
Husband : Yes.
Wife: Turn on the mixer.
Husband: (turns mixer on) Rrreeereeeereeee…
Wife: Ok my love goodbye.
The next day, the wife decides to go home without notice, and finds her son alone and she asks him:
“Son, where is your father?”
Son: “I don’t know, he went out with the mixer…
09/25/2023 from DailyJokes
#17566
A man and his wife enter a dentist’s office.
The wife says “I need a tooth pulled.
No gas or Novocain!
I’m in a terrible hurry.
Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.”
“You’re a brave woman,” says the dentist.
“Now, show me which tooth it is.”
The wife turns to her husband and says:
“Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is,dear”