Daily Joke: Jokes Library

Three grown sons had finally left home, each saying goodbye to their devoted single mother who had raised them with sacrifice, discipline, and love. They went out into the world determined to succeed, and over the years, each of them prospered in his own way. Time passed, and one year the brothers decided to return home together to celebrate their elderly mother’s birthday.

On the evening of their visit, the three sat together reminiscing and talking about the gifts they had chosen for her. Each loved her deeply, and each wanted to believe that his gift showed the greatest appreciation for all she had done.

The first son spoke proudly. “I wanted to give Mom something she never had while raising us,” he said. “So I built her a mansion. Twenty-six rooms, high ceilings, and a massive backyard filled with trees, flowers, and walking paths. It’s elegant, spacious, and peaceful. She’ll finally have room to breathe and live like royalty.”

The second son smiled and nodded, then added, “That’s impressive, but I thought about convenience. I bought her a top-of-the-line luxury car, fully equipped. Not only that, it comes with a private driver. She’ll never need to worry about traffic, directions, or carrying groceries again. Wherever she wants to go, whenever she wants, she’ll be taken there in comfort.”

The third son leaned back, grinning confidently. “You both did well,” he said, “but I think I outdid you. You remember how much Mom loved reading the Bible, and you know her eyesight isn’t what it used to be. So I sent her something truly special. I found a remarkable parrot that can recite the entire Bible from memory. The church elders spent twelve years teaching him. All Mom has to do is say the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it perfectly. There’s nothing else like it in the world.”

The brothers sat in satisfied silence, agreeing that each gift was thoughtful and generous. They were certain their mother would be overwhelmed with gratitude.

A few weeks later, each son received a handwritten letter from their mother.

“Dear Milton,” she wrote to the first, “the house you built is far too large for an old woman like me. I live in only one room, but I must clean all twenty-six. I’m exhausted most days.”

“Dear Gerald,” she wrote to the second, “I’m too old to travel much anymore, and my eyesight isn’t very good. I spend most of my time at home, so the car sits unused. And I must tell you, the driver has quite a bad attitude.”

Finally, she wrote to the third son.

“Dearest Donald,” the letter read, “you were the only one who truly understood what your mother enjoys. That chicken you sent was absolutely delicious.”

A minister’s wife was expecting their first child, so the minister approached the congregation and requested a raise. After some discussion, the church agreed on a policy: whenever the minister’s family grew, his salary would increase as well.

After five or six children, the arrangement became quite costly. The congregation called another meeting to revisit the minister’s pay.

As you might expect, the room filled with arguments and raised voices. At last, the minister stood and addressed the crowd.

“Having children is an act of God,” he declared.

From the back of the room, a small elderly man with a long white beard slowly stood up and said in a shaky voice, “Snow and rain are acts of God too but when we get too much of them, we put on rubbers.”

A man’s wife sends him out to buy cigarettes. When he gets to the store, it’s closed, so he heads to a nearby bar to use the cigarette vending machine. While there, he strikes up a

conversation with a beautiful woman. A couple of beers later, one thing leads to another, and they end up back at her apartment.

Afterward, he looks at the clock. It’s 3 a.m.

“Oh no,” he says. “My wife is going to kill me. Do you have any talcum powder?”

She gives him some, and he rubs it all over his hands before heading home.

His wife is waiting at the door, furious.
“Where on earth have you been?”

“Well,” he says, “I went to the store like you asked, but it was closed. So I went to the bar for the vending machine, met a woman, had a few drinks, and ended up in bed with her.”

“Oh yeah?” she snaps. “Let me see your hands.”

She looks at his powder-covered hands and shouts,

“You liar! You went bowling again!”

One warm summer evening, I was driving home with my three young children packed into the back seat, the windows down and the radio playing softly. Traffic was

light, the sky was glowing, and everything felt calm and ordinary.

As we rolled along, a bright convertible pulled up ahead of us at the lights. Just as they turned green, the woman in the front seat suddenly stood up and began waving

enthusiastically at the cars behind her.

That’s when I realised, to my complete disbelief, that she was absolutely naked.

I nearly swerved from the shock, my brain scrambling to process what I was seeing while desperately hoping the kids hadn’t noticed. The car went silent for a brief,

terrifying moment.

Then, from the back seat, my five-year-old broke the silence and shouted,

“Mom, that lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!”

Four women share the same birthday and make it a tradition to celebrate together every decade.

When they turn 40, they choose the Lakeview Restaurant because the waiters are handsome and wear tight pants.

At 50, they go back because the prices are fair and the wine list is excellent.

At 60, they return because it’s quiet and offers a beautiful view.

At 70, they choose it because it’s wheelchair-friendly.

At 80, they go because none of them has ever been there before.