10/14/2024 from DailyJokes
#19121
A couple is walking in East Berlin on Christmas Eve.
They feel a slight precipitation.
“I think it’s raining,” says the man.
“No, it’s snowing,” replies the woman.
“How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!” exclaims the main.
“Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?
“Definitely raining,” Officer Rudolph replies before walking off.
The man turns to his wife with a smile.
“See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
10/13/2024 from DailyJokes
#19116
A girl takes her big fat cat to the vet.
“My cat is very fat,” she says.
“Alright,” says the vet.
“I will look at him.”
The vet picks up the cat and examines its teeth.
Then she looks at its eyes.
Then into its ears.
Finally, she turns to the girl and says,
“I’m very sorry. I’m going to have to put your cat down.”
“Oh no! Because he’s so fat?”
“Yes,” says the doctor.
“My arms are very tired.”
10/12/2024 from DailyJokes
#19108
A 60 years old billionaire marries a young 25 year old girl…
After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage…
After a few drinks, billionaire’s friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo young lady..
“It’s simple” billionaire boasts…
“I faked my age”
“Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy…she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you are?” A friend asks.
With a smile on his lips billionaire responds
“85 years old”
10/11/2024 from DailyJokes
#19103
A cop pulls a car over for going 20 mph on the highway
The driver is a little old lady, and there are two old ladies in the back seat.
The cop asks,
“Why were you driving just 20 miles per hour?”
The old lady responds,
“I was just going the posted speed limit!” and points to a sign up ahead.
The cop smiles and says,
“That’s not the speed limit sign, that’s the sign for this highway — Route 20!”
One of the old ladies in the back gasps out,
“We tried to tell you, Eugenia!”
The cop takes another look at the old women in the back and sees that they are wide-eyed and disheveled.
One of them is tightly gripping the door handle.
“What’s the matter?” the cop asks.
She responds,
“We just came off of Interstate 190.”
10/10/2024 from DailyJokes
#19098
In their small village, a couple was famous for the husband being 102 years old and his wife being 98 years old, and both in terrific condition, working their farm every day and
having the bodies of much younger people.
One day, a visitor to the village, curious about the couple, approached the old man at his farm.
The old man was cutting wood without a shirt on, sweat glistening on a body that seemed to belong to a man half his age.
The visitor introduced himself and asked the old man:
“I hear you are 102!”
“That’s correct.” said the old man with a smile.
“Wow, I must say, you look in amazing shape!”
“Thank you.” Said the old man humbly.
“Do you mind if I ask-“
“-How am I this healthy at my age?” finished the old man.
“Help me carry this wood back home and I’ll tell you.”
The visitor agrees and they make their way inside.
“You see,” said the old man,
“I’ve been married for 75 years. Now, when we got married, I made a little arrangement with the wife. Every time we have an argument, the loser of said argument must run for
5 kilometers.
Seeing as we have a pretty typical marriage, I’ve been running 5 kilometers almost every day for 75 years! That’s why I’m in the great shape I am.”
“But if that’s the case,” said the puzzled visitor,
“how come your wife is in such great shape too?”
“Well,” smiled the old man,
“she usually runs after me to make sure I finish the whole five.”