Find any really funny jokes? Vote for them! When these jokes get a user rating above 3, they move into the general section. Your votes will make our “Best Jokes” section funnier than ever!
Two friends went to interview for the same job. They were both in the waiting area when the first friend got called for his interview. The second friend gave him a thumbs-up as he headed into the interview room.
The interviewer reviewed the man’s resume and then asked him a few questions. The interview was going well until the interviewer asked, “So if you are on a moving train and it was very hot, what would you do?”
The man thought about it for a second and responded, “Well, I would open the window.”
“Amazing!” exclaimed the interviewer and asked, “Let’s say the train is traveling at 100 miles per hour, and the window is 1.25 sq ft. How much air would enter your cabin in a minute?”
The man thought about the equation for a while, tried to answer it but failed. So he was rejected and returned to the waiting room and his friend in despair. He quickly told his friend about the interviewer’s question so he wouldn’t suffer the same fate.
The second friend was called into the interview room. The interviewer reviewed his resume and began with a few mundane questions before asking, “If you are a train and it was very hot, what would you do?”
“Uh, well,” the friend stumbled on the question, “I would take my jacket off, of course.”
The interviewer responded, “Well, what if it was still too hot?”
“I would take off my shirt!” exclaimed the friend.
The interview then asks again, “What if it is still too hot, even without a jacket and your shirt?”
The man then said, “I would take off all my clothes, but I would not open the window!”
An American tourist arrived in Rome and boarded a taxi to tour the city. The driver then took him to the front of the famous Colosseum. Surprised, the tourist asked what it was, and the driver proudly said that it was the Colosseum.
The tourist then asked the driver how long it took to build it, and the driver replied that it might have taken a few years. On hearing that, the tourist smiled and said that it would only take a year to build the Colesseum in America.
Their next stop was the Pantheon. The surprised tourist then asked what it was and how long it took to build it. The taxi driver noted that it was the Pantheon, and it took about a year to build it.
The tourist then replied mockingly, “Ah, in America we can build it in just one month!”
So, the taxi driver became nervous but continued to drive the tourist around town. Finally, he drove him to the front of San Pietro in Vatican City. The tourist asked him what it was, and the driver said, “I do not know. Yesterday it was not there!”
A man was talking to one of his friends named Jim when another friend walked up to them. The friend showed them that his head had become a giant pumpkin.
The two friends were awestruck as they watched their friend with the giant pumpkin head move staggeringly. They were confused about what happened and wasted no time asking him.
The pumpkin man relayed that he met a genie on his way, and the genie granted him three wishes. His friends did not seem interested in the genie story and proceeded to ask about what happened to his head.
He stopped them halfway and continued the genie story. The pumpkin man explained that his first wish was to have a million dollars. But his pals wanted him to cut to the chase and continued asking about his head.
He cut them off again, explaining that he asked to be happy for the rest of his life for his second wish. One of his friends looked at him and commended him for making a good decision.
The friend then added, “Ok ok, sure, man, but what about the fact your head’s a giant pumpkin now?!?” He paused for a minute before exclaiming:
“Oh! This. For my third wish, I wished for a giant pumpkin head.”
Two senior gentlemen are working at a sewage treatment plant.
One guy goes off to lunch and comes back to find his buddy standing above a vat of sewage with a long rake.
“What are you doing?!” he yells
“My coat fell in!” his buddy yells back
“You’re not really gonna wear that again are you?!” his friend said worriedly.
“No, no. Gosh no!” Says the old man to the relief of his friend.
“I have to get it back though. My teeth are in the pocket!”
“I’ll do whatever I can for my constituents”
A politician visited a remote little rural village and asked the inhabitants what the government could do for them.
“We have two big needs,” said the village headman. “First, we have a hospital but no doctor.”
The politician whipped out his cellphone, spoke for a while, and then said, “I have it sorted out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?”
“We have no cellphone reception at all in our village.”