As Forrest approaches the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter greeted him. “Ah, welcome, Mr. Gump. We’ve been anxiously awaiting your arrival.” Forrest looked intently, not quite sure what to make of the scene in front of him. “Forrest, before I let you into Heaven, I need you to answer three questions. Would that be alright?” Forrest nodded.
“Ok, Forrest, how many seconds are in a year?” Forrest thought for a moment and confidently answered “twelve”. Saint Peter was befuddled. “12?! You believe there are 12 seconds in a year?? Please explain.” Forrest replied. “Well, there’s January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, Apr-“ Saint Peter interrupted Forrest, “ok, I suppose you’re technically correct. That will do.” Forrest cracked a smile.
“Alright, Forrest, how many days of the week begin with the letter ‘T’?” Forrest thought for a moment, furrowed his brow a bit, and then replied “four”. Saint Peter, again taken off guard, says to Forrest, “4?! How on Earth do you get 4??” Forrest looks Saint Peter in the eye and said, “well, you got Tuesday, Thursday, Today, and Tomorrow.” Saint Peter nearly fell over with incredulity. “Ok, I suppose that’s also technically correct.” Forrest’s smile grew.
“Ok, Forrest, lastly, what is God’s real name?” Forrest thought about the question, his brow wrinkled, a little bit of sweat began to form on his forehead. Then, Forrest’s eyes grew and he said, with booming authority, “Andy! God’s real name is Andy!” Saint Peter slammed his hands down onto the podium, “ANDY?! How, please tell me, did you arrive at ANDY!?” Forrest looked Saint Peter dead in the eye and said “Like the song says, ‘Andy walks with, Andy talks with me-“ Saint Peter sheepishly looked at Forrest and said “welcome to Heaven, Mr. Gump.”