Daily Joke: The Gorilla on the Roof That Ended in a Hilarious Reality Check

Arthur was enjoying a quiet, peaceful Saturday morning when he looked out his bedroom window and nearly spilled his coffee. Sitting squarely in the middle of his shingled roof was a massive, fully grown, silverback gorilla.

Panicking, Arthur rushed to his phone book, flipped frantically through the yellow pages, and sure enough, right there under ‘G’ was an ad for “Gorilla Removers.” He dialed the number, and a gruff voice answered, promising to be at Arthur’s house in exactly thirty minutes.

True to his word, a beat-up white van pulled into the driveway half an hour later. The gorilla remover stepped out, and Arthur’s jaw practically hit the floor. The man was carrying a towering aluminum ladder, a heavy wooden baseball bat, a pump-action shotgun, and leading a massive, drooling, incredibly mean-looking pit bull on a heavy chain.

Arthur stared at the bizarre arsenal, completely bewildered. “Okay, buddy,” Arthur stammered. “What exactly are you going to do with all that?”

The remover didn’t even blink. He calmly set the gear down on the lawn and laid out his highly specific, step-by-step strategy.

“Well,” the remover explained casually, “first, I’m going to put this ladder up against the roof. Then, I’m going to climb up there and knock the gorilla off with this baseball bat. As soon as the gorilla falls to the ground, the pit bull is highly trained to immediately grab his testicles and not let go.”

Arthur watched in horrified fascination as the remover continued. “Once the dog has him locked down, the gorilla will be subdued enough for me to easily toss him into the cage in the back of the van.”

With the plan fully explained, the remover calmly picked up the pump-action shotgun, racked it with a loud *clack-clack*, and handed it to Arthur.

Arthur took the heavy weapon, his hands shaking slightly. He looked at the shotgun, then up at the remover, and asked, “Wait… what’s the shotgun for?”

The remover looked him dead in the eye and replied:
“If the gorilla knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog.”