04/29/2025 from Daily Jokes
#20444
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes.
One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals.
Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke.
She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals.”
One of the guys, of course, said, “I don’t believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?”
“N,” she answered.
04/28/2025 from Daily Jokes
#20440
A wealthy couple golfed at an ultra-exclusive course where mansions hugged every fairway.
Husband: “Sweetheart, swing easy-if you break a window here, we’re selling the yacht to pay for it.”
CRASH! Her ball obliterates a floor-to-ceiling window of a palatial estate.
Inside, they find a shattered antique bottle and a smug man lounging on a sofa.
Man: “Congrats! You’ve freed me from 1,000 years in that bottle. I’m a genie-three wishes! You each get one, I keep the third.”
Husband (instantly): “I want $10 million annually-tax-free!”
Wife: “I want a private island in every ocean!”
Genie (grinning): “Done. My wish? I’ve been celibate for a millennium. I want a night with your wife.”
The husband sighs, “Fine… we do get a lifetime of money and islands.”
After a very enthusiastic hour upstairs, the genie lights a cigarette and asks,
“So… how old’s your husband?”
Wife: “Forty-two.”
Genie (snorting): “And he still falls for the genie bit? Hilarious. That’s just my Airbnb.”
04/27/2025 from Daily Jokes
#20437
A young intern at a tech company wants to impress her boss on her first day.
She notices the office kitchen could use a fresh look, so she volunteers to repaint it over the weekend.
On Monday morning, the boss walks in and finds the intern sitting on a stool, red-faced and sweating, wearing a raincoat and a winter coat, with a paint roller in hand.
Concerned, the boss asks, “Are you okay? Why are you wearing all those coats while painting?”
The intern wipes her brow and says, “I wanted to make sure I did this right. The instructions on the paint can said, ‘For best results, apply two coats.’”
04/26/2025 from Daily Jokes
#20433
The room was filled with new dog owners and their pets, and the training class was buzzing with excitement.
The instructor was teaching the owners how to properly guide their dogs on a leash, along with encouraging them to give lots of praise and reassurance during walks.
The trainer then said, “Owners, walking your dog is one of the best things you can do for both of you. Daily walks are essential. And remember, it’s a bonding time, so no distractions!”
The room fell silent. Finally, a man near the back raised his hand.
“Yes?” the trainer prompted.
He asked, “Is it okay if I bring my golf clubs and practice my swing while we walk?”
04/25/2025 from Daily Jokes
#20429
After struggling with her eyesight for years, a witty elderly woman finally visits an optometrist and is fitted with state-of-the-art smart glasses that restore her vision completely.
A month later, she returns for a follow-up appointment.
The optometrist says, “Your vision has improved drastically! I bet your family is thrilled.”
She smiles slyly and says, “Oh, I haven’t told them I can see again. I just sit quietly, watching them whisper and roll their eyes behind my back. I’ve rewritten my will twice already!”