07/18/2026 from Daily Jokes
#22431
It was a bright Tuesday morning in Mrs. Higgins’ third-grade classroom, and the lesson of the day was all about etiquette, refinement, and good manners. Mrs. Higgins, a patient woman who believed every child could be a little gentleman or lady, decided to test her students with a practical, real-world scenario.
“Alright class,” she began, adjusting her glasses with a warm smile. “Michael, imagine you are on a date, having a lovely dinner with a nice young lady. How would you politely tell her that you need to excuse yourself to go to the bathroom?”
Michael didn’t even hesitate. He sat up straight in his chair and declared, “Just a minute, I have to go pee.”
Mrs. Higgins winced slightly. “No, Michael, that would be very rude and impolite. We must be more refined. What about you, Peter? How would you say it?”
Peter thought for a moment, wanting to get it right. “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
Mrs. Higgins nodded approvingly, but gently shook her head. “That’s much better, Peter, but it’s still not very elegant to say the word ‘bathroom’ at the dinner table. We must be more subtle and use our imaginations.” She scanned the room, her eyes landing on the class’s most notorious, quick-witted troublemaker. “And you, little Johnny. Can you use that brain of yours for once and show us how a true gentleman handles this delicate situation?”
Johnny stood up slowly, adjusted his imaginary tie, and looked at the teacher with the smooth, confident demeanor of a seasoned diplomat.
“Well, Mrs. Higgins,” Johnny began, his voice dripping with faux sophistication. “I would look her deep in the eyes and say: *’Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to go shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.’*”
Mrs. Higgins’ eyes widened. Her face flushed a deep shade of crimson. She let out a soft gasp, clutched her chest, and fainted dead away at her desk.
