11/18/2024 from Daily Jokes
#19372
Artie was fed up with working tirelessly and getting nowhere. Watching Mafia guys strut around in sharp three-piece suits and flashy cars, he decided it was time to join their ranks.
He approached one of the mobsters and said, “I want to join the Mafia.”
The guy replied, “Ever killed someone for money?”
Artie shook his head. “No.”
“Well,” the mobster said, “you’re either born into the Mafia, or you’ve gotta kill someone for cash.”
Artie asked, “How much will you pay me?”
The guy laughed. “I’m not paying you anything.”
“Come on,” Artie pleaded, “just give me a dollar so I can qualify.”
The mobster thought for a moment and said, “Alright, here’s the deal. Kill someone, let me know, and if I see it in the morning paper, I’ll pay you a dollar.”
Overjoyed, Artie exclaimed, “Thank you, thank you!” and set off on his mission. He ended up at Ralphs Supermarket, where he spotted an elderly lady pushing a shopping cart. Figuring she’d lived a long life, he grabbed her by the neck and choked her to death.
Unfortunately for Artie, the store’s bag boy witnessed the whole thing and started chasing him. Realizing he couldn’t outrun the kid, Artie spun around and choked him too.
The next morning, the newspaper headline read: “ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A DOLLAR AT RALPH’S!”
