09/20/2026 from Daily Jokes
#22678
Dr. Harrison was one of the nation’s most renowned sex therapists, a man who had spent decades studying the intimate habits of couples. Over the years, he had noticed one frustrating, universal truth: people absolutely lie about how often they have sex. Men exaggerate, women downplay, and everyone in between tells their therapist exactly what they think the doctor wants to hear.
Determined to crack the code, Dr. Harrison devised a brilliant new theory. He claimed he could accurately determine exactly how often someone had sex simply by looking at the size of their smile. The wider the grin, the more active the love life. It was his life’s work, and he was ready to prove it to the world.
To demonstrate his groundbreaking theory, he rented out a massive, 500-seat auditorium and filled it to the brim with volunteers from all walks of life. The lights dimmed, the spotlight hit the stage, and Dr. Harrison took the microphone.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” he announced with academic gravitas, “I am going to walk down the aisles, and I want each of you to give me your very best smile. From the width of that smile, I will tell you exactly how often you are getting lucky.”
The crowd chuckled nervously as he began. He walked down the first row, studying each face with the intensity of a master detective.
“You,” he pointed at a modestly smiling woman, “twice a week.” She blushed and nodded. “You,” he said to a grinning man, “three times a week.” The man gave a proud thumbs-up. The theory was working flawlessly.
Then, he reached the very last man in the very last row.
Dr. Harrison stopped dead in his tracks. The man was grinning so widely, so radiantly, so impossibly ear-to-ear, that Dr. Harrison nearly dropped his clipboard. This, he realized, was the holy grail of human intimacy.
“Good heavens,” Dr. Harrison breathed. “Twice a day?”
The man shook his head, that massive grin never wavering.
Dr. Harrison adjusted his glasses, stunned. “Once a day, then?”
“No, sir.”
“Twice a week?”
“Nope.”
“Twice a month?”
“No.”
“Once a week?”
“No.”
“Once a month?”
“No.”
Dr. Harrison was growing increasingly frustrated. His entire professional reputation was on the line. He took a deep breath and went lower. “Once every six months?”
“No.”
“Once a year?”
The man’s grin somehow got even wider. “Yes, sir. Once a year.”
Dr. Harrison threw his hands up in the air, his face red with indignation. “This is impossible! My theory is flawless! If you only have sex once a year, what on earth are you so happy about?!”
The man leaned forward, his eyes sparkling with pure, unadulterated joy, and whispered:
“Tonight’s the night!”
