Daily Joke: How To Tell If You Are Officially Old

We all know what it means to be young – and boy do we think about those days a lot – but it’s not always easy to tell if you are officially ‘old’ yet or not. Here are 15 signs to look out for. If you experience any of these calamitously funny symptoms you are almost certainly past your best…

You know you are old when…
…you’ve been there and done that, but don’t remember what that was.

You know you are over the hill when…
… the only females who pursue you are mosquitoes.

You know you are fading fast when…
… you spot that first gray hair on your kid!

You know you are on your last legs when…
… “Getting any?” means sleep.

You know you’ve seen better days when…
… you hear your favorite songs in an elevator.

You know your days are numbered when…
… you’ve still got it, but don’t know what to do with it.

You know you’ve got one foot in the grave when…
… the candles cost more than the cake.

You know life is passing you by when…
…you stop growing at both ends and start growing in the middle.

You know you are knocking on Heaven’s door when…
… you’re told to slow down by your doctor and not the police.

You know you are about to kick the bucket when…
… you want to take back all those time you didn’t nap when you were younger.

You know you are about to bite the dust when…
… you read the obituary to check on your friends.

You know you are approaching the final curtain when….
… you start lying about your children’s ages.

You know you’ll soon be pushing up the daisies when…
… people no longer view you as a hypochrondriac.

You know your last dance is coming up when…
… you feel bad in the morning without staying out the night before.

You know the end is nigh when…
… Happy hour is a nap.