06/20/2026 from Daily Jokes
#22283
The Saturday sun was beating down on the patio as Dave and his wife, Sarah, were getting ready for their weekend backyard barbecue. The charcoal was ready, the marinades were prepped, and the massive, stainless-steel grill was gleaming in the sun. Sarah was organizing the patio furniture when she bent over to pick up a dropped pair of tongs.
Dave, leaning against the sliding glass door with a beer in hand, couldn’t help but let out a low whistle. “Wow, honey,” he called out, eyeing her backside. “Your ass is bigger than the BBQ!”
Sarah froze, slowly standing up and turning around with a look of absolute disbelief. “Excuse me? No, it’s not,” she snapped, crossing her arms.
“Oh, it definitely is,” Dave chuckled, entirely too amused by his own observation. “I’m telling you, it’s a solid two inches wider.”
“You are ridiculous,” she huffed.
“Tell you what,” Dave said, his competitive spirit suddenly ignited. He jogged into the garage and came back out wielding a yellow fiberglass tape measure. “Let’s settle this scientifically.”
Before Sarah could protest, Dave measured the width of the massive grill. “Thirty-six inches,” he announced. Then, with the confidence of a man who knows he’s right, he measured his wife’s backside. He pulled the tape taut, looked at the numbers, and grinned triumphantly. “See?
Thirty-eight inches. I win.”
Sarah didn’t say a word. She just stared at him, her expression completely unreadable. She silently turned on her heel, walked into the house, and slid the glass door shut behind her. Dave spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying his beer and his perfectly grilled burgers, completely oblivious to the storm he had just brewed.
That night, the house was quiet. Dave climbed into bed, feeling relaxed and in a very good mood. He scooted over to Sarah’s side of the mattress, wrapping an arm around her waist and leaning in for some late-night affection.
Sarah gently but firmly pushed his hands away. She rolled over, looked him dead in the eye, and said in a cool, calm voice:
“Do you really think I’m going to fire up that big BBQ for one little wiener?”
