10/15/2026 from Daily Jokes
#22773
Bill had finally reached the magical age of 65 and decided it was time to hang up his work boots and retire. For the first few weeks, it was paradise. But after having him underfoot for a few months, constantly asking what was for lunch and critiquing her vacuuming technique, his wife, Martha, became increasingly agitated.
“Bill,” she said one morning, slamming a coffee mug on the counter, “you need to get out of this house! Go do something to occupy your time. Join a club, get a hobby, I don’t care—just go!”
Bill, eager to keep the peace, obliged. He put on his best cardigan, grabbed his wallet, and headed out for a couple of hours.
When he returned, looking surprisingly chipper, Martha asked about his day. “Oh, it was great,” Bill replied, settling into his armchair. “I just went down to the park and hung out with the guys. And oh yeah, I joined a parachute club.”
Martha froze, her eyes widening in sheer panic. “What? Are you nuts, Bill? You’re 65 years old! You have bad knees and a slight heart murmur! You’re going to start jumping out of airplanes?”
“Yeah, look, I even got a membership card right here,” Bill said proudly, pulling a small, laminated card from his pocket.
Martha snatched the card, squinted at it, and then burst out laughing. She handed it back, shaking her head. “Old man, you definitely need new glasses! This isn’t a membership in a Parachute Club. This is a membership in a Prostitute Club!”
Bill stared at the card, then back at his wife. His face fell. He slumped back into the chair, looking genuinely devastated.
“Oh, great!” he groaned, throwing his hands up in despair. “Now what am I going to do? I already signed up for five jumps a week!”
