08/20/2026 from Daily Jokes
#22567
It was a crisp Tuesday afternoon, and Arthur was strolling down the high street, enjoying a rare moment of peace.
Suddenly, he was approached by a particularly disheveled, shabby-looking man who looked like he hadn’t seen a bar of soap in a decade.
“Excuse me, sir,” the man rasped, holding out a trembling hand. “Could you spare a couple of dollars for some dinner?”
Arthur paused, reached into his leather wallet, and extracted a crisp ten-dollar bill. But instead of handing it over, he narrowed his eyes and began a highly specific interrogation.
“If I give you this money,” Arthur asked slowly, “will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?”
“No, sir,” the man replied earnestly. “I had to stop drinking years ago.”
“Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?” Arthur pressed.
“No, I don’t gamble,” the man said, shaking his head. “I need every single penny I can get just to stay alive.”
“Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?” Arthur asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Are you NUTS?!” the man exclaimed, genuinely offended. “I haven’t played golf in twenty years!”
“Will you spend the money on a woman in the red-light district instead of food?” Arthur asked, leaning in slightly.
“What disease would I possibly get for ten lousy bucks?!” the man shouted, throwing his hands up in exasperation.
Arthur smiled warmly, folded the ten-dollar bill, and put it back in his pocket. “Well,” he said cheerfully, “I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you home with me for a terrific, home-cooked dinner prepared by my wife.”
The shabby man was absolutely astounded. He took a step back, looking down at his torn clothes. “Won’t your wife be furious with you for bringing me home? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.”
Arthur placed a comforting hand on the man’s shoulder, his smile never wavering, and replied:
“That’s perfectly okay. It’s incredibly important for her to see exactly what a man looks like after he has given up beer, gambling, golf, and sex.”
