05/26/2026 from Daily Jokes
#22199
The Smiths had tried for years to start a family. After many consultations, hopeful tests, and quiet evenings of dreaming, they made a decision: they would welcome a surrogate father to help bring their dream of parenthood to life.
On the big day, Mr. Smith kissed his wife, Eleanor, goodbye at the front door. “Well, I’m off now,” he said, adjusting his coat.
“The man should be here soon. Just follow the plan we discussed, and everything will be perfect.”
Eleanor nodded, smiling nervously but confidently. “I’ve got this. Go, and don’t worry about a thing.”
Half an hour later, just as Eleanor was tidying the living room for the third time, the doorbell rang. She took a deep breath, smoothed her dress, and opened the door.
Standing there was a cheerful man with a camera bag slung over his shoulder and a warm, professional smile.
“Good morning, Ma’am!” he said brightly. “I’ve come to—”
“Oh, no need to explain,” Eleanor interrupted, cheeks flushing slightly. “I’ve been expecting you.”
The photographer blinked, then grinned. “Have you really? Well, that’s wonderful! Did you know… babies are my specialty?”
Eleanor’s eyes lit up. “Well, that’s exactly what my husband and I had hoped! Please, come in and have a seat.”
She gestured to the sofa, then hovered nearby, hands clasped. After a brief, polite silence, she leaned in slightly and asked, voice soft with anticipation:
“Well… where do we start?”
The photographer opened his portfolio, flipping through pages with practiced ease.
“Leave everything to me,” he said confidently. “I usually try two in the bathtub for that soft, natural light. One on the couch for a cozy vibe. Perhaps a couple on the bed for variety. And sometimes—the living room floor is fantastic. You can really spread out there.”
Eleanor’s eyes widened. “Bathtub? Living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work out for Harry and me!”
The photographer chuckled warmly. “Well, Ma’am, none of us can guarantee a perfect result every time. But if we try several different positions—and I shoot from six or seven angles—I’m sure you’ll be thrilled with the outcomes.”
“My, that’s… a lot!” Eleanor gasped, fanning herself slightly.
“In my line of work,” he replied with gentle sincerity, “a man has to take his time. I’d love to be in and out in five minutes, but I’m sure you’d be disappointed with that.”
“Don’t I know it,” Eleanor murmured, nodding vigorously.
He opened his briefcase and pulled out a glossy portfolio. “Take a look—this one was done on the top of a city bus at sunset,” he said proudly, pointing to a golden-hour shot.
“Oh, my goodness!” Eleanor exclaimed, hand flying to her throat.
“And these twins turned out exceptionally well,” he continued, flipping the page. “Especially when you consider their mother was… well, quite difficult to work with.”
“Difficult?” Eleanor asked, intrigued.
“Yes, I’m afraid so,” he sighed. “I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around—four and five deep—just to get a good look.”
“Four and five deep?” Eleanor whispered, eyes wide with amazement.
“Yes,” he confirmed. “And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling—I could hardly concentrate! And when darkness started to fall, I had to rush my final shots.”
He paused, then added with a wry smile:
“Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment… I just had to pack it all in.”
Eleanor leaned forward, voice barely audible. “Do you mean… they actually chewed on your, uh… equipment?”
“It’s true, Ma’am,” he said solemnly. Then, with renewed enthusiasm:
“Well! If you’re ready, I’ll set up my tripod and we can get to work right away.”
“Tripod?” Eleanor echoed, brow furrowing.
“Oh yes, Ma’am,” he replied, pulling a sturdy tripod from his bag. “I need it to rest my Canon on. It’s much too big to be held in the hand very long.”
And with that, Eleanor fainted.
