11/07/2026 from Daily Jokes
#22851
Colonel Sanders was in a panic. After three consecutive months of declining sales at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the buckets were piling up, the fryers were cold, and the Colonel’s famous white suit was looking a little less crisp than usual. Desperate for a miracle, he decided to go straight to the top. He picked up the phone and dialed the Vatican.
After navigating through several layers of Swiss Guards and secretaries, he finally got Pope Francis on the line.
“Your Holiness,” the Colonel began, his voice trembling with urgency. “I have a proposition that could change the world. I need you to change one tiny line in the Lord’s Prayer. Instead of ‘Give us this day our daily bread,’ I need it to say, ‘Give us this day our daily chicken.’ If you do this, I swear on my eleven herbs and spices, I will donate $10 million dollars to the Vatican immediately.”
There was a long pause on the other end. The Pope sighed gently. “My son, I am very sorry. That is the Lord’s Prayer, handed down through centuries. It isn’t something I can just change the words of for a commercial endorsement. I must decline.”
Disappointed but undeterred, the Colonel hung up. But after another month of terrible sales, his desperation grew. He called the Vatican again.
“Listen, Your Excellency,” the Colonel pleaded. “I’m serious now. I’ll double it. I’ll donate $50 million dollars if you change the words from ‘daily bread’ to ‘daily chicken.’ Think of the charities! Think of the orphanages!”
The Pope sounded tempted. “It is very tempting, Colonel. The Church could do so much good with that kind of money. We could repair the roof of St. Peter’s twice over. But, again, I must decline. It is sacred text. I cannot change the Word of God for fried poultry.”
The Colonel gave up… for a while. But after two more months of disastrous financial reports, he made one final, all-or-nothing call.
“This is my final offer, Your Holiness. If you change the prayer to ‘Give us this day our daily chicken,’ I will donate $100 million dollars to the Vatican. Cash. Today.”
The Pope didn’t answer immediately. He cleared his throat. “Let me get back to you.”
The next morning, the Pope called together all of his Cardinals and Bishops in the grand conference room. He stood at the head of the table, looking grave yet excited.
“My brothers,” he announced, “I have some good news, and I have some bad news.”
The room went silent.
“The good news,” the Pope continued, smiling broadly, “is that KFC is going to donate $100 million dollars to the Vatican. Our financial troubles are over!”
The bishops erupted in cheers. They clapped, they hugged, they whispered prayers of gratitude. Finally, the Cardinal of Finance raised his hand. “But Your Holiness, what is the bad news?”
The Pope’s smile faded slightly. He adjusted his mitre and replied:
“The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account.”
