09/21/2026 from Daily Jokes
#22682
Sister Mary Katherine lived in the quiet, peaceful convent of St. Jude’s, located just a single cobblestone block away from Jack’s neighborhood liquor store. Jack was a good man, a pillar of the community, and he knew everyone in the parish by name.
One crisp Tuesday afternoon, the convent doors swung open, and in walked Sister Mary Katherine. She approached the counter with a serene, pious expression and said softly, “Oh, Jack, could you please give me a pint of the finest brandy?”
Jack’s eyes widened in sheer shock. He took a step back, clutching his apron. “Sister Mary Katherine!” he exclaimed, genuinely scandalized.
“I could never do that! I have never sold alcohol to a nun in my entire life!”
“Oh, Jack, please,” she responded, her voice dropping to a confidential, sympathetic whisper. “It’s not for me. It’s only for the Mother
Superior. It helps her terrible constipation, you know. The doctor recommended a small drop.”
Torn between his principles and his desire to help a suffering elder, Jack’s resolve crumbled. “Well, if it’s for her health,” he muttered, reluctantly pouring the amber liquid into a brown paper bag and handing it over.
Later that night, Jack locked up the store and began his walk home under the glow of the streetlamps. As he passed the convent, he heard a strange, rhythmic sound coming from the sidewalk. He peered through the iron gates, and his jaw nearly hit the pavement.
There, under the moonlight, was Sister Mary Katherine. And she was absolutely, spectacularly snookered.
She was singing a highly upbeat, completely off-key rendition of “Kumbaya,” dancing a lively jig, and whirling around, flapping her arms like a giant, intoxicated pigeon right there on the public sidewalk. A small crowd of bewildered neighbors had already gathered, pointing and whispering.
Horrified, Jack pushed his way through the crowd. “Sister Mary Katherine!” he gasped, clutching his chest. “For shame! What has come over you? And you told me this brandy was for the Mother Superior’s constipation!”
Sister Mary Katherine didn’t miss a single beat of her dance. She stopped, swayed slightly, looked Jack dead in the eye with a radiant, drunken smile, and replied:
“And so it is, me lad, so it is. When she sees me, she’s gonna have an absolute coronary!”
