Daily Joke: At The Supermarket

I was at the supermarket the other day, buying dog food.

As I was standing in line for the cash register, there was a lady behind me asking me if I had a dog (beacuse why else would I be buying dog food, right?!)

Anyway, my inner demon woke up, so I told the lady that I don’t have a dog, but that I was planning going on the “Happy Dog” diet.

Also, I explained to her that I was having some second thoughts about it, because the last time I had done it, I woke up in a hosiptal, but that I was considering it anyway, as I had lost over 40 pounds before i woke up in the ICU, with all kinds of tubes sticking out me.

I then explained to her how it works: you fill your pockets with dog food, and every time you feel hungry, you take out a few pieces and eat them.

They have high nutritional value, and they don’t taste too bad (the whole line is listening carefully by now).

The lady is looking at me wide-eyed and asks if I ended up in the hospital as a result of poisoning.

I say no, I sniffed out a poodle in heat, and as I was running across the street, i got hit by a car.

I thought the young guy in the line was going to have a coronary, he laughed so hard.