10/27/2025 from Daily Jokes
#21367
A grocery clerk is deep in the leafy trenches of the produce aisle probably having a more meaningful relationship with romaine than with actual humans when a customer strolls up and drops a bombshell request: “Can I just get half a head of lettuce?”
The clerk blinks like he’s been asked to split an atom.
“Uh, no. We sell lettuce whole. Not half-baked… or half-leafed.”
Customer, unfazed: “Fine. Go fetch your manager. I’ll ask him.”
Clerk storms off, muttering under his breath. He finds the manager and hisses:
“Dude, there’s some total walnut out there demanding half a head of lettuce”
…then freezes.
Because standing right behind him, arms crossed and eyebrow arched like a disappointed garden gnome, is the customer.
In a flash of improv genius (or sheer panic), the clerk spins around, beams like a game show host, and announces:
“AND this fine gentleman would like to purchase the other half! It’s a lettuce love story!”
Later, after the customer departs, the manager claps him on the back:
“Smooth recovery! Where’d you learn to think on your feet like that?”
“Brazil,” says the kid proudly.
“Brazil? Beautiful place! Why’d you leave?”
Kid shrugs: “Eh… back home, it’s either soccer gods or sirens in sequins. No in-between.”
Manager’s face darkens. “…My wife is from Brazil.”
Without skipping a single heartbeat, the kid leans in, eyes twinkling:
“No way! Which club does she play for?”
