Daily Joke: Jokes Library

One day a farmer went outside to his pond with a bucket to pick peaches from the peach tree next to his pond and there were two girls in the pond skinny dipping. When they saw him they went to the deep end and said, “Don’t make us get out, we’re naked!” He said “I ain’t. I just came to feed my alligators.”

Two men were in a boat. Their names were Pete and Repete. Pete fell out, who was left? “Repete.” Two men were in a boat. Their names were Pete and Repete. Pete fell out, who was left?

A female officer arrests a drunk. She warns him, “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you.”

The drunk replies, “Boobs.”

On a sunny Sunday afternoon, two young church members were going door to door to invite people to visit their services. When they knocked on one door, it was immediately clear the woman who answered was not happy to see them.

She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message, and before they could say anything more, she slammed the door in their faces.

To her surprise, however, the door did not close; in fact, it bounced back open. She tried again, really putting her back into it, and slammed it again with the same result – the door bounced back open.

Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in her door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson. Just then, one of them said quietly: “Ma’am, before you do that again, you really need to move your cat.”