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07/02/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9494
Daily Joke: Blonde Convention en Espanol
80,000 blondes meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium for a “Blondes Are Not Stupid” Convention. The leader says, “We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?” A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks her, “What is 15 plus 15?” After 15 or 20 seconds she says, “Eighteen!”
Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start cheering, “Give her another chance! Give her another chance!” The leader says, “Well since we’ve gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance.” So he asks, “What is 5 plus 5?”
After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, “Ninety?”
The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh — everyone is disheartened, the blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, “GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!”
The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, “Ok! Ok! Just one more chance — What is 2 plus 2?”
The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, “Four?”
Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream…
“GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!”
07/01/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9493
Daily Joke: Juvenile Delinquency en Espanol
A policeman brought four boys before a judge.
“They were causing an awful lot of commotion at the zoo, your Honor,” he said.
“Boys,” said the judge sternly, “I never like to hear reports of juvenile delinquency.
Now I want each of you to tell me your name and what you were doing wrong.”
“My name is George,” said the first boy, “and I threw peanuts into the elephant pen.”
“My name is Pete,” said the second boy, “and I threw peanuts into the elephant pen.”
“My name is Mike,” said the third boy, “and I threw peanuts into the elephant pen.”
“My name is Peanuts,” said the fourth boy.
06/30/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9492
Daily Joke: Concert en Espanol
My 14-year-old daughter, Maggie, and her best friend, Joannie are fans of 60’s music. They recently got front- row tickets to attend a Peter, Paul, and Mary concert in our town.
When they returned home from the concert that night, I wanted to hear all the details of the concert. My daughter says, “Mom, during the show, we looked back an saw hundreds of little lights swaying to the music. At first we thought people were holding up cigarette lighters. Then we realized that the lights were the reflections off all the eyeglasses in the audience!”
06/29/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9491
Daily Joke: Haircut Request en Espanol
When a customer slid into the barber chair, the barber asked him how he wanted his hair cut.
“Make it short,” the customer replied, “with a bare patch above my left ear, but longer on the right side so that it covers my right ear. I also want my left sideburn above my left ear and the right sideburn below my right ear.”
The barber looked puzzled and said, “I don’t think I can do that.”
The customer replied, “I don’t know why not–that’s the way you cut it the last time I was here!”
06/28/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9490
Daily Joke: Political Support en Espanol
It was election time and a politician decided to go out to the local reservation and try to get the Native American vote. They were all assembled in the Council Hall to hear the speech. The politician had worked up to his finale, and the crowd was getting more and more excited. “I promise better education opportunities for Native Americans!”
The crowd went wild, shouting “Hoya! Hoya!”
The politician was a bit puzzled by the native word, but was encouraged by their enthusiasm. “I promise gambling reforms to allow a Casino on the Reservation!”
“Hoya! Hoya!” cried the crowd, stomping their feet.
“I promise more social reforms and job opportunities for Native Americans!”
The crowd reached a frenzied pitch shouting, “Hoya! Hoya! Hoya!”
After the speech, the Politician was touring the reservation, and saw a tremendous herd of cattle. Since he was raised on a ranch, and knew a bit about cattle, he asked the Chief if he could get closer to take a look at the cattle.
“Sure,” the Chief said, “but be careful not to step in the hoya.”
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