Find any really funny jokes? Vote for them! When these jokes get a user rating above 3, they move into the general section. Your votes will make our “Best Jokes” section funnier than ever!
10/16/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9224
Daily Joke: 12 Things NOT to say to a Cop en Espanol
12 Things NOT to say to a Cop
1. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.
3. Aren’t you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must’ve been doin’ about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You’re not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That’s terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That’s how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says, “Gee Son….Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?” You probably shouldn’t respond with,”Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?”
10/15/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9223
Daily Joke: Shoes en Espanol
What is a plumber’s favorite type of shoes?
Clogs
10/14/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9222
Daily Joke: Going Bald en Espanol
“You know your going bald when your conversations with your barber keep getting shorter and shorter. I sit down. ‘How about those . . .’ ‘Next.’ ‘What?’ ‘We’re done.’ ‘Well, here’s a tip.’ ‘I can’t. That would be stealing.’”
10/13/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9221
Daily Joke: Classmate en Espanol
While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40 years ago.
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was too old to have been my classmate.
After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school.
“Yes,” he replied.
“When did you graduate?” I asked.
He answered, “In 1962.”
“Why, you were in my class!” I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely and then asked, “What did you teach?”
10/12/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9220
Daily Joke: Port or Sherry en Espanol
A wealthy playboy met a beautiful young girl in an exclusive lounge. He took her to his lavish apartment where he soon discovered she was not a tramp, but was well groomed and apparently very intelligent.
Hoping to impress her, he began showing her his collection of expensive paintings, first editions by famous authors and offered her a glass of wine.
He asked whether she preferred Port or Sherry and she said,
“Oh, Sherry by all means. To me, it’s the nectar of the gods. Just looking at it in a crystal-clear decanter fills me with a glorious sense of anticipation. When the stopper is removed and the gorgeous liquid is poured into my glass, I inhale the enchanting aroma and I’m lifted on the wings of ecstasy. It seems as though I’m about to drink a magic potion and my whole being begins to glow. The sound of a thousand violins being softly played fills my ears and I’m transported into another world. Port, on the other hand, makes me fart.”
Found this funny?
Receive a joke daily by subscribing below