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09/18/2012 from Daily Jokes
#8498
Daily Joke: Lecture en Espanol
An elderly man is stopped by the police around 1 a. m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, “I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body.” The officer then asks, “Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?” The man replies, “That would be my wife.”
09/17/2012 from Daily Jokes
#8497
Daily Joke: Who Wants to Go to Heaven en Espanol
A preacher goes into a bar and says “Anybody who wants to go to heaven, stand up.” Everybody stands up except for a drunk in the corner. The preacher says “My son, don’t you want to go to heaven when you die?” The drunk says “When I die? Sure. I thought you were taking a load up now.”
09/15/2012 from Daily Jokes
#8496
Daily Joke: New Bike en Espanol
A nerd was walking on campus one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle. The first nerd was stunned and asked, “Where did you get such a nice bike?” The second nerd replied, “Well, yesterday I was walking home minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ’Take what you want!’” The second nerd nodded approvingly and said, “Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”
09/14/2012 from Daily Jokes
#8495
Daily Joke: Dog in Heat en Espanol
A drunk takes his dog for a walk. After awhile he gets thirsty so he ties his dog to a parking meter in front of a bar and goes in for a couple of beers. After he has been there for an hour or so the local policeman enters the bar,”Whose dog is tied up out front?” The drunk responds, “That’s my dog. Is there a problem officer?” “Well she’s in heat,” says the cop.” “Oh, she’ll be all right. It’s shady out there.” “That’s not what I mean. Your dog needs to be bred.” “I gave her a half of a loaf this morning. She’s fine.” At this point the policeman is becoming a little upset. “Listen buddy! You don’t seem to understand what I am talking about. That dog wants to mate.” “Oh, go right ahead officer, I’ve always wanted a police dog.”
09/13/2012 from Daily Jokes
#8494
Daily Joke: Advice from the Rabbi en Espanol
A man goes to see the Rabbi. “Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it. The Rabbi asked, “What’s wrong?” the man replied, “My wife is poisoning me.” The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, “How can that be?” The man then pleads, “I’m telling you, I’m certain she’s poisoning me. What should I do?” The Rabbi then offers, “Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I’ll see what I can find out and I’ll let you know.” A week later, the Rabbi calls the man and says, “I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice? The man said, “Yes” and the Rabbi replies, “Take the poison.”
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