Find any really funny jokes? Vote for them! When these jokes get a user rating above 3, they move into the general section. Your votes will make our “Best Jokes” section funnier than ever!
10/09/2011 from Brian
#8222
Daily Joke: Are You Really Sure? en Espanol
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?”
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something.”
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a 6′ tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2″, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6’5″ pushing 300 and he’s a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”
The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”
10/07/2011 from Sally
#8221
Daily Joke: The Complainer en Espanol
A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.
Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn’t throw out the pest.
“Oh, I really don’t care or mind,” said the waiter with a smile. “We don’t even have an air conditioner.”
10/06/2011 from Michelle
#8220
Daily Joke: No Dogs Allowed en Espanol
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says “You can’t bring that dog in here!” The guy, without missing a beat, says “This is my seeing-eye dog.” “Oh man, ” the bartender says, “I’m sorry, here, the first one’s on me.” The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.
Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says “You can’t bring that dog in here unless you tell him it’s a seeing-eye dog.” The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says “Hey, you can’t bring that dog in here!”
The second man replies “This is my seeing-eye dog.” The bartender says, “No, I don’t think so. They do not have Chiwauas as seeing-eye dogs.” The man pauses for a half-second and replies “What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?”
10/03/2011 from Bill
#8219
Daily Joke: You got any grapes? en Espanol
A duck walks into a convenience store. He asks the man at the counter, “You got any grapes?” Guy at the counter says, “No, we don’t have any grapes.” Duck says “okay.” and he leaves.
The next day the duck comes back in and says “You got any grapes?” The man once again replies, “No! We do not have any grapes.” The duck says “Okay.” and he leaves.
The third day the duck walks in again and asks, “You got any grapes?” The man is very annoyed and says, “No! For the last time, we do NOT have any grapes. If you come in here again and ask for grapes, I’m gonna nail your bill to the floor!” The duck replies “Okay,” and leaves.
The fourth day the duck returns once again and asks, “You got any nails?” The man at the counter says “No.” The duck says, “Well then, you got any grapes?
10/02/2011 from Joe
#8218
Daily Joke: It looks like plastic en Espanol
An attorney went into a bar for a Martini and found himself beside a scruffy-looking drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand. He leaned closer while the drunk held the tiny object up to the light, slurring, “Well, it looks plastic.” Then he rolled it between his fingers, adding, “But it feels like rubber.”
Curious, the attorney asked, “What do you have there?”
The drunk replied, “I don’t know, but it looks like plastic and feels like rubber.”
The attorney responded, “Let me take a look.”
So the drunk handed it over and the lawyer rolled between his thumb and fingers, then examined it closely by sniffing and licking it. “Yeah, it does look like plastic and feel like rubber, has no significant smell or taste, I sure don’t know what it is. Where did you get it?”
The drunk replied, “Out of my nose!”
Found this funny?
Receive a joke daily by subscribing below