Daily Joke: Jokes Library

An urgent call was put in for a plumber at noon but he didn’t arrive until 5 hours later.

“How is it?” he asked entering the house.

“Not so bad,” replied the home owner. “While we were waiting for you to arrive I taught my wife how to swim.”

“Louisa” asked her small brother, “could you help me with my math homework?”

“Certainly not,” replied Louisa indignantly. “It wouldn’t be right.”

“Maybe not,” said her brother, “but you could at least try…!”

A state trooper is driving down the highway when he sees a truck driver pull over,
walk to the side of the truck with a tire jack, bang on the side of the truck a few times, and then drive away.

A couple of miles down the road the driver does the same thing.

A few more miles, same thing.

The trooper pulls the truck over and asks the driver to explain. The driver says, “Well, the load limit is ten tons, and I’m carrying fifteen tons of parakeets, so I’ve got to keep some of them flying around.”

There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air.

The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket, which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength. Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying.

One tourist got exceedingly nervous about halfway up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed.

With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope.

The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, “Whenever it breaks.”

John, and avant-garde painter got married.

Someone asked the bride a few weeks after the wedding, “How’s married life, Helen?”

“It’s great,” she answered. “My husband paints, I cook; then we try to guess where he painted and what I cooked.”