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04/01/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9774
Daily Joke: Baby's First Doctor Visit en Espanol
A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam.
The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breastfed or bottle-fed.
“Breastfed”, she replied.
“Well, strip down to your waist.” The doctor ordered.
She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, “No wonder this baby is underweight. You don’t have any milk.”
“I know”, she said, “I am his Grandma.”
03/31/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9773
Daily Joke: Wet Floor en Espanol
A Police officer called over to the Station on his radio.
“I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.”
“Have you arrested the woman?”
“Not yet. The floor’s still wet.”
03/30/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9772
Daily Joke: Birthday Tea Set en Espanol
A girl was given a tea set for her second birthday. It became one of he favorite toys, and when her mother went away for a few weeks to care for her sick aunt, the toddler loved to take her father a little cup of tea, which was just water really, while he was engrossed watching the news on TV.
He sipped each “cup of tea” he was brought and lavished generous praise on the taste, leaving the little girl immensely proud.
Eventually the mother returned home and the father couldn’t wait to show her how his little princess had been looking after him. On cue, the girl took him his “cup of tea” and he sipped it before praising it to the heavens.
The mother watched him drink it and said: “Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?”
03/29/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9771
Daily Joke: Retrospect en Espanol
After 25 years of marriage, a husband took a long look at his wife one day and said:
“Twenty-five years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, and I slept on a sofa bed, but I got to sleep every night with a sexy twenty-six year old blonde.
Now, we have a nice house, a nice car and a big bed, but I’m sleeping with a fifty-one year old woman.
It seems that you’re not pulling your weight.”
She replied calmly: “Then why don’t you go out and find a sexy twenty-six year old blonde?
And when you do, I’ll make sure once again that you’ll be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, and sleeping on a sofa bed.”
03/28/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9770
Daily Joke: The smartest man in the world en Espanol
Four people are in an airplane, the pilot, the smartest man in the world, the richest man in the world, and a punk teenager.
The airplane experiences some difficulties, and the pilot informs the three passengers that the plane is going to crash, and there are only three parachutes on the plane.
The richest man in the world takes one, because he says that his lawyers will sue everyone else on the plane if he doesn’t survive.
The smartest man in the world takes a parachute, because he thinks that the world would be a worse place without him.
The pilot says to the punk “There’s only one parachute left, I’ll fight you for it.”
“That won’t be necessary,” said the punk, “The smartest man in the world took my backpack.”
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