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03/22/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9763
Daily Joke: The Faithful Drunk Husband en Espanol
Husband comes home drunk and breaks some crockery, vomits, and falls down on the floor. Wife pulls him up and cleans everything. Next day when he gets up, he expects her to be really angry with him. He prays that they would not have a fight. He finds a note near the table:
“Honey… your favorite breakfast is ready on the table. I had to leave early to buy groceries. I’ll come running back to you soon my love. I love you.”
Still surprised, he asks his son, “What happened last night?”
Son replies, “When mom pulled you to bed and tried removing your boots and shirt, you were dead drunk and you said… ‘HEY LADY! LEAVE ME ALONE! I’M MARRIED!’”
03/21/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9762
Daily Joke: Delivery Coincidence en Espanol
Four expectant fathers pace in a hospital waiting room while their wives are in labor. The nurse enters and tells the first man, “Congratulations, you’re the father of twins.”
“What a coincidence,” the man says. “I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team.”
A little later, the nurse returns and tells the second man, “You are the father of triplets.”
“That’s really an incredible coincidence,” he answers. “I work for the 3M Corporation.”
An hour later, the nurse tells the third man that his wife has just given birth to quadruplets. The man says, “I don’t believe it! I work for the Four Seasons. What a coincidence.”
After hearing this, everyone’s attention turns to the fourth guy who has just fainted. He slowly regains consciousness and whispers, “I should have never taken that job at Millennium Computers.”
03/20/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9761
Daily Joke: Two Old Buddies en Espanol
Two old buddies went fishing and one lost his dentures over the side of the boat in rough weather, so his prankster friend removed his own false teeth, tied them on his line and pretended he had caught the missing gnashers.
Unhooking the teeth, his grateful mate tried to put them into his mouth, then hurled them into the sea with the disgusted remark: “They’re not mine – they don’t fit!”
03/19/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9760
Daily Joke: Fat cow en Espanol
Teacher: “Kids, what does the fluffy chicken give you?”
Students: “Eggs!”
Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pink pig give you?”
Students: “Bacon!”
Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?”
Students: “Homework!”
03/18/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9759
Daily Joke: Cuckoo Clock en Espanol
At about 3AM, I was drunk as a skunk. I came home just in time to hear the cuckoo clock cuckoo three times. Quickly coming up with a plan, I cuckooed nine more times, hoping my wife would think it was midnight. I was very proud of myself.
The next day, my wife asked what time I got home, and I replied, “Midnight, just like I said.”
She said that was good, and for some reason she said we needed a new cuckoo clock.
When I asked why, she answered, “Last night when it cuckooed midnight, it cuckooed three times, said ‘Crap!’, cuckooed four more times, farted, cuckooed three times, cleared its throat, cuckooed two more times and then started giggling.”
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