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06/03/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9464
Daily Joke: Dusty Housekeeping en Espanol
My mom is a less than fastidious housekeeper.
One evening my dad returned home from work, walked into the kitchen and teased her, “You know, dear, I can write my name in the dust on the mantel.”
Mom turned to him and sweetly replied, “Yes, darling, I know. That’s why I married a college graduate.”
06/02/2015 from DayInHistory
#9463
Daily Joke: Tie Discipline en Espanol
A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school.
Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. The classroom became a bit unruly and he admonished them. This happened several times.
When he could do work at his desk, the strong breeze from the window made his tie flap annoyingly. He kept rearranging and rearranging the tie as the class raised it’s level of unruliness.
Finally, becoming disgusted with the wayward tie, he stood up and took a big stapler off his desk and stapled the tie to his chest in several places.
Discipline was not a problem from that day forth.
06/01/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9462
Daily Joke: Losing weight en Espanol
A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.
“I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”
When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds.
“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “Did you follow my instructions?”
The blonde nods. “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.” “From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor.
“No, from skipping,” replied the blonde.
05/31/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9461
Daily Joke: For Crying Out Loud en Espanol
With all the new technology regarding fertility, an 88-year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby recently.
When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, various relatives came to visit. “May we see the new baby?” one of them asked.
“Not yet,” said the mother. “I’ll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.”
Another half hour passed before another relative asked, “May we see the new baby now?”
“No, not yet,” said the mother.
A while later and again the guests asked, “May we see the baby now?”
“No, not yet,” replied the mother.
Growing impatient, they asked, “Well, when can we see the baby?”
“When it cries!” she told them.
“When it cries?” they gasped. “Why do we have to wait until it cries?”
“Because, I forgot where I put it.”
05/30/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9460
Daily Joke: Check Out Mate en Espanol
A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
“But why?”, they asked, as they moved off.
“Because,” he said, “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
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