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02/22/2014 from Daily Jokes
#8985
Daily Joke: Blind Salesman en Espanol
A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn’t know what type to get so she just grabs one and takes it to a register manned by a Wal-Mart “associate” wearing dark shades.
The woman says, “Excuse me, sir, can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?”
He says, “Ma’am, I’m blind but if you will drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes.”
She doesn’t believe him, but drops it on the counter anyway.
He says, “That’s a 6′ graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line. It’s a good all-around rod and reel, and it costs $20.00?.
She says, “That’s amazing! You can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it’s what I’m looking for — so I’ll take it.”
As the blind man begins to ring up the sale, the woman loudly passes gas. At first, she’s embarrassed, but realizes there’s no way he could tell it was her because he’s blind and wouldn’t know she was the only person around.
He rings up the sale, and says, “That will be $25.50.”
She replies, “I thought you said it was only $20.00?”
He says, “Yes ma’am, $20.00 for the rod and reel, but the duck call is $3.00, and the stink bait is $2.50.”
02/21/2014 from Daily Jokes
#8984
The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, “What’ll you have?” The guy answers, “A scotch, please.” The bartender hands him the drink, and says “That’ll be five dollars,” to which the guy replies, “What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this.”
A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, “You know, he’s got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration.”
The bartender was not impressed, but says to the guy, “Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don’t ever let me catch you in here again.”
The next day, same guy walks into the bar. Bartender says, “What the heck are you doing in here? I can’t believe you’ve got the audacity to come back!”
The guy says, “What are you talking about? I’ve never been in this place in my life!” The bartender replies, “I’m very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double.”
To which the guy replies, “Thank you. Make it a scotch.”
02/20/2014 from Daily Jokes
#8983
Daily Joke: 85 Years Old en Espanol
The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said: “Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?”
“Yes, I know,” said the lady, “I need both hands to hold onto this hat.” “But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!” said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, “Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!”
02/19/2014 from Daily Jokes
#8982
Daily Joke: First Child en Espanol
A man calls the hospital. He shouts into the receiver, “You gotta send some help, and fast! My wife’s going into labor!”
The nurse says, “Calm down. Is this her first child?”
“No!” he shouts back. “This is her husband!”
02/18/2014 from Daily Jokes
#8981
Daily Joke: Lawyer Fees en Espanol
“I’m beginning to think that my lawyer is too interested in making money.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Listen to this from his bill: ‘For waking up at night and thinking about your case: $250′.”
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