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03/04/2014 from Daily Jokes
#8995
Daily Joke: The Scuba Dive en Espanol
After retiring from his very lucrative job in the music business, Kreutzmann decided to learn to scuba dive. He spent thousands of dollars for lessons, then spent thousands more for the finest suits, tanks, masks, and other related gear. After he bought a boat and sailed to Hawaii, he felt a surge of pride as he went down into the water. Photographing the coral and the fish and using a waterproof pen and pad to make notes, he was surprised to find a man swimming several dozen feet below him with no equipment at all.
Outraged, Kreutzmann flippered over and tapped the man on the shoulder and wrote on his pad, “I spend thousands on scuba diving and here you are in bathing suit. What gives?”
The man took the pad and pen and wrote, “I’m drowning, you idiot.”
03/03/2014 from Daily Jokes
#8994
Daily Joke: Two men camping en Espanol
Two young men were out in the woods on a camping trip, when the came upon this great trout brook. They stayed there all day, enjoying the fishing, which was super.
At the end of the day, knowing that they would be graduating from college soon, they vowed that they would meet, in twenty years, at the same place and renew the experience.
Twenty years later, they met and traveled to a spot near where they had been years before. They walked into the woods and before long came upon a brook. One of the men said to the other, “This is the place!”.
The other replied, “No, it’s not!”.
The first man said, “Yes, I do recognize the clover growing on the bank on the other side.
To which the other man replied, “Silly, you can’t tell a brook by it’s clover.”
03/02/2014 from Daily Jokes
#8993
Daily Joke: Rug Burned en Espanol
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize that he had lost his cigarettes.
In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. “No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,” he said to himself. He got out his hammer and flattened the hump.
As he was cleaning up, the lady came in.
“Here,” she said, handing him his pack of cigarettes. “I found them in the hallway.”
“Now,” she said, “if only I could find my parakeet.”
03/01/2014 from Daily Jokes
#8992
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course.
One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral
procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.
The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married for 35 years.”
02/28/2014 from Daily Jokes
#8991
Daily Joke: Airline Acronyms en Espanol
Alitalia: Airplane Landed In Tokyo And Luggage In Atlanta
American: Airline Meals Eaten Regularly Induces Cramps and Nausea
Delta: Don’t Ever Leave The Airport
El Al: Every Landing Always Late
Olympic: Onassis Likes Your Money Paid In Cash
Sabena: Such A Bad Experience – Never Again
TWA: That Was Awful
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