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02/10/2014 from Daily Jokes
#8973
Daily Joke: Need a push en Espanol
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock — it’s half-past three in the morning.
“I’m not getting out of bed at this time”, he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. “Aren’t you going to answer that?” says his wife. So, he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs.
He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn’t take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk. “Hi there,” slurs the stranger, “Can you give me a push?”
“No. Get lost, it’s half-past three. I was in bed,” says the man and slams the door.
He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says “Dave, that wasn’t very nice of you.
Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man’s door to get us started again? What would have happened if he’d told us to get lost?”
“But the guy was drunk,” says the husband.
“It doesn’t matter,” says the wife. “He needs our help and it would only be right to help him.”
So, the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and, not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts: “Hey, do you still want a push?” and he hears a voice cry out “Yeah please.”
So, still being unable to see the stranger, he shouts: “Where are you?”
And the stranger replies: “I’m over here, on your swing set.”
02/09/2014 from Daily Jokes
#8972
Daily Joke: Blind Man en Espanol
Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior was that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there was a knock at the door. “Who is it?” called one of the nuns.
“Blind man,” replied a voice from the other side of the door. The two nuns look at each other and shrug, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room; they open the door.
“Nice boobs,” said the man. “Where do you want these venetian blinds to be hung?”
02/08/2014 from Daily Jokes
#8971
Daily Joke: Getting Rid of Old Item en Espanol
I bought a new fridge to get rid of the old, I put it on my front yard and hung a sign : “Free to good home. You want it, you take it.”
For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it.
I changed the sign to read : “Fridge for sale $50.” The next day it was stolen.
02/07/2014 from Daily Jokes
#8970
Daily Joke: Witty Teeth en Espanol
A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. “I’m shocked!” she complained. “This is three times what you normally charge.”
“Yes, I know,” said the dentist. “But you yelled so loud, you scared away two other patients.”
02/06/2014 from Daily Jokes
#8969
Daily Joke: Are You Kidding? en Espanol
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young engineer who was fresh out of MIT, “What starting salary were you thinking about?”
The Engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”
The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years – say, a red Corvette?”
The Engineer sat up straight and said, “Wow! Are you kidding?”
The interviewer replied, “Yeah, but you started it.”
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