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04/18/2013 from Daily Jokes
#8676
Daily Joke: Getting in Trouble en Espanol
A guy and his buddy are getting trashed in a bar when the guy pukes on himself. he gets all upset and explains to his buddy that the last time he went out drinking he puked on himself and his wife got really mad at him.
“No problem” says the buddy “take a 20 dollar bill and put it in your shirt pocket and tell your wife somebody you didn’t know puked on you and gave you 20 dollars for the cleaning.”
The two of them proceed to get drunker.
When the guy goes home his wife is, as expected, upset.
“You barfed all over yourself!” said the wife.
“No I have not, some guy puked on me and gave me 20 dollars to clean my shirt! and its right here in my pocket!”
The wife puts her hand in the guys shirt pocket and pulls out two 20 dollar bills.
“Hey, you have 40 dollars in your shirt pocket?!?! says the wife.
“Yeah, he crapped my pants too!”
04/12/2013 from Laurie
#8675
Daily Joke: Flies en Espanol
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb ? Two, but I don’t know how they got in there !
04/10/2013 from Daily Jokes
#8674
Daily Joke: Space Pen en Espanol
During the initial space flights, Nasa discovered that biro pens didn’t work under zero gravity conditions. To beat the problem, Nasa spent 6 years and $2 million in designing a pen for use in space. The pen would work under zero gravity conditions due to the pressurized ink inside, it would work under sub zero conditions, underwater, on glass and virtually any surface known to man. The Russians used a pencil.
04/08/2013 from Daily Jokes
#8673
Daily Joke: Happiest Day en Espanol
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “why is the bride dressed in white?” “Because white is the color of happiness,” her mother explained. “And today is the happiest day in her life.” The child thought about this for a moment. “So why is the groom wearing black?”
04/04/2013 from Daily Jokes
#8672
Daily Joke: You Can't Take it With You en Espanol
A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the saying, “You can’t take it with you.”
After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance-chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died. He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillow cases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed so that when he died he could grab them on his way to heaven.
Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer’s wife, up in the attic cleaning, came upon the two forgotten pillow cases stuffed with cash.
“Oh, that darned old fool,” she exclaimed. “I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement.”
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