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10/19/2025 from Daily Jokes
#21335
A broke dude heads to Vegas, blows all his cash, and ends up so broke he can’t even afford a cab to the airport. But hey—why not try anyway? He hails a taxi, begs the driver to let him ride now and pay later, and even offers his number.
The driver just yells, “Get the HELL outta my cab!”
So our hero walks all the way to the airport… barefoot in spirit, if not in shoes.
Fast forward: he’s back in Vegas, this time riding a wave of beginner’s luck—and wins BIG. Suitcase full of cash, swagger turned to 11.
At the cab line, he spots that driver—the one who kicked him out last time—now waiting at the end of the queue. A mischievous grin spreads across his face. Time for sweet, sweet payback.
He walks up to the first cab:
“How much to the airport?”
“$15.”
“Awesome! How much to sleep with me on the way?”
“GET OUT!”
He does the same to the next driver. And the next. And the next. Every single one kicks him out like he just asked them to eat a cactus.
Finally, he reaches the last cab—the very driver who once banished him. The driver doesn’t recognize him.
“Hey, how much to the airport?”
“$15.”
Our guy hands him a crisp $15 bill and says, “Perfect—let’s roll!”
As they drive off, he leans out the back window, beaming, giving every furious cab driver a big ol’ thumbs-up like he just won an Oscar for Chaos.
Revenge? Served with a side of confusion—and absolutely no awkward naps.
10/18/2025 from Daily Jokes
#21331
Three cheeky old grannies were chilling on a bench outside their care home when an old bloke strolled past.
One of them shouted,
“Bet we can guess your age spot on!”
He scoffed,
“No chance!”
She grinned and said,
“Oh yeah? Just drop your trousers and we’ll tell you to the year!”
He blushed a bit—but figured there’s no way they could possibly know—so down they went.
Then they made him spin around like a confused top and hop up and down like a kangaroo on caffeine.
Finally, all three yelled together:
“You’re 87!”
Still standing there with his pants round his ankles, he asked,
“How on earth did you know?!”
The grannies burst out laughing, slapped their knees, and cackled in perfect harmony:
“We crashed your birthday bash yesterday!”
10/17/2025 from Daily Jokes
#21327
Once upon a time in a town that probably needed better childproofing, there lived a couple with two pint-sized tornadoes disguised as boys ages 8 and 10. These lads weren’t just mischievous; they were certified chaos gremlins. If a mailbox tipped over, a garden gnome went missing, or someone’s prized petunias mysteriously turned neon pink… yep, those two were already sprinting in opposite directions with matching grins.
Their parents were so frazzled, they’d started Googling “how to return children for store credit.” Desperate, Mom heard about a local clergyman who’d tamed wild kids with nothing but a stern look and a well-timed “Ahem.” She booked an emergency appointment faster than you can say “Who put glue in the pastor’s coffee?”
The good reverend agreed to help but insisted on seeing the boys one at a time, like a very holy bouncer at the gates of mischief rehab.
First up: the 8-year-old. The clergyman sat him down, leaned in like he was about to drop the plot twist of the century, and boomed, “WHERE IS GOD?!”
Silence.
He tried again, louder this time—eyebrows practically in orbit: “WHERE. IS. GOD?!”
Still nothing. Not even a shrug.
So the reverend went full thundercloud: standing, finger wagging, voice rattling the stained glass “WHERE IS GOD?!”
That was the kid’s cue to yeet himself out the door like his sneakers were on fire. He tore home, dove into his closet like it was a nuclear bunker, and locked himself in with the intensity of a spy hiding from aliens.
His 10-year-old brother, already halfway through eating a stolen popsicle, pried the closet door open and whispered, “Dude… what happened? Did you TP the church again?”
Panting, wide-eyed, the little one gasped:
“Worse. They’ve lost God… and they think WE took Him!”
10/16/2025 from Daily Jokes
#21323
An elderly couple was attending church services.
About halfway through she leans over and says to her husband.
“I just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?”
He replies, “Put a new battery in your hearing aid.”’
10/14/2025 from Daily Jokes
#21309
Seems that this old couple are having trouble remembering things, so they sign up for a memory course. The course is wonderful and introduces them to a technique called word/name association. They come home and tell all their relatives, friends, and neighbors about it.
Some months later, a neighbor approaches the man as he tends the garden.
“Say, Ed, what was the name of the instructor of that memory course you liked so much?”
“Well, it was…hmmm…let me think a minute… What’s the name of that flower, you know, the one that smells so nice, but has thorns on the stems…?”
“You mean a rose?”
“Yeah, that’s it…(shouting toward house) Hey, Rose, what was the memory course instructor’s name?”