Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A couple’s house was plagued by an invasion of flies in hot weather. After a husband went around with a fly swatter, his wife asked him whether he managed to fill any.

“Yes,” he said. “Four males and two females.”

“How can you tell?” she asked.

“Four were on a beer can and two were on the phone.”

Yo Mama So Ugly Bob The Builder Said We Can”t Fix That

A group of boy scouts from the city were on a camping trip. The mosquitoes were so fierce that the boys had to hide under the blanket to avoid being bitten.

Then one of the boys saw some fireflies and said to his friend: “We might as well give up. They’re coming after us with flashlights.”

A drunk staggered down to hotel reception and demanded a change of room. He was so insistent that the receptionist was forced to call the manager.

“What seems to be the problem?” asked the manager.

“I want another room,” said the drunk.

“But I see you’re in room 341. That’s one of the best rooms in the hotel.”

“I don’t care. I want another room.”

“Very well sir. If you’re adamant, we can move you from 341 to 362. But would you mind telling me what you don’t like about your room?”

“Well,” said the drunk, “for one thing, it’s on fire.”

When a patient regained conciousness after an operation, the surgeon told her: “I’m really sorry, but I’m affraid we’re going to have to open you up again. You see, unfortunately I left my rubber gloves inside you.”

The patient said: “Well, if that’s all it is, I’d prefer you to leave me alone and I’ll buy you a new pair.”