Daily Joke: Jokes Library

Driving home from a fishing trip in northern Michigan with his boat in tow, a man had engine trouble a few miles inland from Lake Huron. He didn’t have a cell phone with him, so he decided to use his marine radio to get help. Climbing into his boat, he broadcast his call sign and asked for assistance.

A coastguard officer responded: “Please state your location.”

The man said “I’m on Interstate-75, two miles south of Standish.”

The officer paused. “Could you repeat that?”

“Interstate-75, two miles south of Standish.”

There was a longer pause. Then the officer asked: “Just how fast were you going when you hit the shore?”

Hey, Did you ever here the story about the Farmer who was outstanding in his FIELD

It was a quiet day on the Ark and Noah was getting bored, so he told his wife that he was going to relieve the tedium by going off on a fishing expedition.

“That’s a good idea,” she said. “You could do with a break.”

Noah collected his equipment and set off, but thirty minutes later he was back and still complaining that he was bored.

His wife said: “I didn’t expect you back so soon. If you’re that bored, why did you stop fishing after only half an hour?”

Noah replied: “I only had two worms.”

On a hot summer afternoon a beautiful young woman came across a secluded pool, largely hidden from view by a row of bushes. After checking that nobody was around, she took off all her clothes, but just as she was about to jump in, a man appeared from behind the bushes.

“I’ve been watching you!” he yelled, “This is private farm land, and I’m the owner. Swimming in this pool is strictly prohibited.”

“You could have told me that before I undressed!” she said.

The farmer replied: “Swimming is prohibited; undressing isn’t.”

A farmhand went to church one Sunday, but when he entered he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present. The preacher asked the farmhand if he wanted him to go ahead and preach.

“Well,” said the farmhand, “I’m not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I’d still feed him.”

So the minister began his sermon. An hour passed, then two hours, then two and a half hours. Finally the preacher finished and asked the farmhand whether he had enjoyed the sermon.

“Well,” said the farmhand, “I’m not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn’t feed him all the hay.”