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03/07/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9748
Daily Joke: Report Card en Espanol
Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good…mostly A’s and a couple of B’s.
However, her teacher had written across the bottom:
Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit.
Sally’s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back:
Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother.
03/06/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9747
Daily Joke: Birds en Espanol
A Wife checks husbands mobile and find all girls numbers saved in the following order:
New Bird
Neighbor Bird
Old Bird
Upstairs Bird
Insurance Bird
College Bird
Super market Bird
Finally she checks her name and it was saved as…
Angry Bird.
03/05/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9746
Daily Joke: Legal and Not Logical en Espanol
After having failed his exam in Logistics and Organization, a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.
Student, “Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?”
Professor, “Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!”
Student, “Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you to give me an ‘A’ for the exam.”
Professor, “Okay, it’s a deal. So what is the question?”
Student: “What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?”
Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an ‘A’, as agreed.
Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.
He immediately answers, “Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife’s lover an ‘A’, although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical.
03/04/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9745
Daily Joke: Stop or Slow Down en Espanol
A policeman pulled over a car, walked up to the driver’s window, and asked the man if he knew why he was pulled over. “No,” the man replied.
“You failed to stop at the stop sign,” the cop explained.
“But I did slow down!” the guy argued.
The cop shook his head. “You are required to stop. That’s why they’re called stop signs.”
The man started to get belligerent. “Stop, slow down – what’s the difference?”
The cop pulled out his baton. “I can show you. I’m going to start hitting you with my baton. You tell me if you want me to stop or slow down!”
03/03/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9744
Daily Joke: Lawyers are Clever en Espanol
An old penny pincher had no friends. Just before he died he asked his doctor, lawyer, and pastor to gather around him at bedside.
“I have always heard that you can’t take it with you. But I want to disprove that theory,” he said. “I have $90,000 under my mattress, and when I die, just before they throw the dirt on me at my burial, I want you each to toss in an envelope with $30,000 within.”
The three attended the funeral and each threw his envelope in the grave. On the way back from the cemetery, the pastor said, “I must confess. I needed $10,000 for my new church, so I only threw in $20,000.”
The doctor then said, “I must confess too. I needed $20,000 for a new hospital I was opening up, so I only threw in $10,000.”
The lawyer looked at them both and shook his head. He then said, “Gentlemen, I’m surprised, shocked, and ashamed of you. I don’t see how you could dare to go against that man’s final wish. I mean, I threw in my personal check for the full amount.”
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