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03/02/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9743
Daily Joke: It's Time To Go To School en Espanol
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.
“Wake up, son.“
“But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.”
“Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.”
“Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me also!”
“Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.”
“Give me two reasons why I should go to school.”
“Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the PRINCIPAL!”
03/01/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9742
Daily Joke: Highway Painting en Espanol
Sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway.
On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile.
Then the foreman asked Sardar why he kept painting less each day?
He replied, “I just can’t do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can.”
02/29/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9741
Daily Joke: Fried Chicken en Espanol
Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried chicken.”
She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.
Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal’s office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class, my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal’s office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.
I don’t understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn’t like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most.
I told her, “Colonel Sanders.”
Guess where I am now…
02/28/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9740
Daily Joke: The Bacon Butty Tree en Espanol
Paddy and Murphy are wandering in the desert fortunately they have plenty of water but no food. Murphy finally gives up sitting down on the ground and he tells Paddy to go on without him.
Paddy protests but gets nowhere so he walks on without his friend only to return screaming Murphy, Murphy come quickly you wont believe your eyes and tells Murphy of a fantastical tree he has just found with a bacon butty on every branch.
Murphy picks himself up and protesting all the way as he makes his way to the top of the ridge only to look down into a bowl shaped valley, at one solitary tree with a sandwich on every branch.
The two friends run to the tree and pick a sandwich off the tree and take a bite only for a hundred screaming ancient warriors to appear intent on taking there lives.
Murphy says, “Paddy this was no bacon butty tree this was a ham bush.”
02/27/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9739
Daily Joke: Little Johnny en Espanol
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.
“Why do you do that, mommy?” he asked.
“To make myself beautiful,” said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.
“What’s the matter?” asked Little Johnny. “Giving up?”
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