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12/20/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9668
Daily Joke: Two Envelopes en Espanol
There was a manager of a company who was ready to retire, so he began training his replacement.
Just before he left for good, he took the replacement aside and told him that if he ever got really jammed up, he should look in the center drawer of his desk and he would find two envelopes. He told him to open envelope #1.
Well, time goes by and one day, a big project went bad and the new manager was in real trouble over it. He remembered the drawer and the envelopes and went and got envelope #1 and opened it.
Inside was a sheet of paper with just two words on it—“Blame me!”
A few months later, the new manager again found himself in hot water and remembered that there was an envelope #2.
He went and opened that one and found another note. This one read, “Go get two envelopes.”
12/19/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9667
Daily Joke: A day in Court en Espanol
A New Yorker was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard.
When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the rest of the afternoon and he would have to return the next day.
“What for?!?!?” he snapped at the judge.
His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query, roared out loud: “Twenty dollars contempt of court! That’s why!”
Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented:”That’s all right. You don’t have to pay now.”
The young man replied, “I know. But I’m just seeing if I have enough for two more words.”
12/18/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9666
Daily Joke: Catching a flight en Espanol
A couple arrived at the boarding gate just in time to see their plane taking off.
The husband was angry to have missed the plane. “If you weren’t so slow in getting ready,” he complained to his wife, “we wouldn’t have missed the plane.”
“And if you wouldn’t have rushed me, we wouldn’t have to wait so long until the next flight,” she replied.
12/15/2015 from Joseph Dunn
#9665
Daily Joke: ITALIAN PLUMBER en Espanol
What do Italian students need in order to work on their city’s sewer system?
Di-ploma.
12/17/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9664
Daily Joke: Seeking counseling en Espanol
A married couple is having problems so they go to counseling.
They sit down with the specialist and the wife points out the numerous problems with their marriage.
After about 10 minutes, the specialist gets up, walks over to the wife and kisses her passionately. Then he tells the husband “now sir, if this happens 3 times a week your wife will feel much better about herself and your relationship.”
The man says; “well I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays but I go out drinking on Fridays.”
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