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05/05/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9434
Daily Joke: Wisdom of Age en Espanol
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, “I don’t think you understand, I want something very special.”
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over.
“Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000,” the jeweler said. The young lady’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, “We’ll take it.”
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, by check. ” I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I’ll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I’ll pick the ring up Monday afternoon,” he said.
Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. “There’s no money in that account.”
“I know”, said the old man, “but can you imagine the weekend I had?”
05/04/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9433
Daily Joke: Neighbors in Montana en Espanol
A sucessful business man became disenchanted with the stress of the fast life in the big city and decides to chuck it all. He takes his savings and purchases a large ranch in the middle of nowhere in Montana.
After a couple of months of enjoying the solitude he hears the drumming of hoofbeats outside his cabin. Grabbing his rifle he challenges the man riding up on the horse.
“Hold it neighbor” the man says, ” I’m your neighbor, I have a ranch only six miles from here, and I want to invite you to a Welcome Party I’m throwing for you next Saturday. There’s going to be music, dancing, hugging, kissing, drinking, fighting…. We’ll have a great time”.
Not wanting to be unneighborly the new rancher lowers the rifle and ask’s ” How should I dress?”
” Aw, don’t matter” replied the neighbor, ” Only gonna be the two of us”.
05/03/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9432
Daily Joke: Toothbrush Sales en Espanol
The kids filed back into class Monday morning.
They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then share with the class how they were successful.
Little Mary led off, “I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30,” she said proudly, “my sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and I credit that approach for my success.”
“Very good,” said the teacher.
Little Sally was next, “I sold magazines,” she said, “I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them abreast of current events.”
“Very good, Sally,” said the teacher.
Eventually, it was Little Johnny’s turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher’s desk. “$2,467? he said.
“$2,467!” cried the teacher, “What in the world were you selling?”
“Toothbrushes,” said Little Johnny.
“Toothbrushes?” echoed the teacher, “How could you possibly sell enough toothbrushes to make that much money?”
“I found the busiest corner in town,” said Little Johnny, “I set up a chocolate chip cookie stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample.
They all said, “This tastes like MUD!” Then I replied, “It is. Wanna buy a toothbrush?”
05/02/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9431
Daily Joke: The Redneck and the Chainsaw en Espanol
A red neck walks into a hardware store and asks for a chain saw that will cut 6 trees in one hour. The salesman recommends the top of the line model. The red neck is suitably impressed, and buys it.
The next day he brings it back and says, “This chainsaw is defective. It would only cut down one tree and it took all the gosh-darned day!”
The salesman takes the chain saw, starts it up to see what’s wrong, and the red neck asks, “What’s that noise?
05/01/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9430
Daily Joke: Jigsaw Puzzle en Espanol
A group of blondes walk into a bar. One of the women tells the bartender to line up a row of drinks for all of them. The gals lift their glasses and toast, “Here’s to 51 days!” and they proceed to down their drinks. Once again, they tell the bartender to “line ‘em up”, and once again they toast 51 days and down their drinks.
The bartender says, “I don’t get it. Why in the world are you toasting 51 days?”
One of the blondes explains, “We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It had written on the box ’2-4 years,’ but we finished it in 51 days!”
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