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04/25/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9424
Daily Joke: Ahmed the Manager en Espanol
After one of the machines at work suddenly went on the fritz, our boss called the repair service and asked to speak to the manager, Ahmed.
“Hello, Ed speaking. How can I help you?” said the guy who answered the phone.
“Sorry,” said my boss. “I was looking for Ahmed.”
“This is Ahmed,” came the reply. “How can I help you?”
“I thought you just said your name was Ed?” asked my boss.
“It is. But whenever I say ‘Ahmed,’ people think I’m saying, ‘I’m Ed.’ So I figured it’s just easier to be Ed.”
04/24/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9423
Daily Joke: Missing School en Espanol
The local high school has a policy that the parents must call the school if a student is to be absent for the day. Alice deciding to skip school and go to the mall with her friends. So she waited until her parents had left for work and called the school herself.
“Hi, I’m calling to report that Alice is unable to make it to school today because she is ill.”
Secretary at high school answered, “I’m sorry to hear that. I’ll note her absence. Who is this calling please?”
“This is my mother.”
04/23/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9422
Daily Joke: Coffee Break with Surgeons en Espanol
5 surgeons are taking a coffee break:
1st surgeon says, “Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”
2nd surgeon says, “Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”
3rd surgeon says, “Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded.”
4th surgeon says, “I prefer lawyers. They’re heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and butts are interchangeable.”
5th surgeon says, “I like engineers … they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end.”
04/22/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9421
Daily Joke: Church Money en Espanol
A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building.
Therefore, he talked with the organist to see what kind of inspirational music she could play after the announcement about the finances to get the congregation in a giving mood.
“Don’t worry,” she said. “I’ll think of something.”
During the service, the minister paused and said, “Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected, and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up.”
Just at that moment, the organist started playing, “The Star Spangled Banner.”
04/21/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9420
Daily Joke: Fireman en Espanol
Felix, my husband, was playing golf with our town’s fire chief when he hit a ball into the rough. As Felix headed for the brush to find his ball, the chief warned him, “Be careful, the rattlesnakes are out.”
The chief explained that calls had been coming in all week requesting assistance with removing the snakes.
“You’ve got to be kidding,” Felix replied in astonishment. “People actually call the fire department to help them with rattlesnakes? What do you say to them?”
“Well,” said the chief, “the first thing I ask is, ‘Is it on fire?’”
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