Find any really funny jokes? Vote for them! When these jokes get a user rating above 3, they move into the general section. Your votes will make our “Best Jokes” section funnier than ever!
04/19/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9419
Daily Joke: Butcher Shop en Espanol
A lady goes into the butcher shop and as she is walking around the store, she spies a beef tongue in the butcher’s counter. The lady asks, “What in the world is that?”
“Beef tongue,” replies the butcher!
The lady gives a little involuntary shudder, “No way would I put anything in my mouth that came out of an animal’s mouth!”
The butcher nods sympathetically while peeking into the woman’s shopping cart, “I see you’re buying a dozen eggs!”
04/19/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9418
Daily Joke: To Do List en Espanol
When I returned home from college for a break, I noticed a paper posted on the refrigerator. It listed some goals my dad had set for himself: Help wife more; lose weight; be more productive at work.
I promptly added: “Send Michelle money every month.”
A few days later my brother wrote: “Make payments on car for Jason.”
Then my boyfriend joined in with: “Buy Tom a Jeep.”
Finally my father added a new goal to his amended list: “Wean kids.”
04/18/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9417
Daily Joke: Bubba and Bobby Joe en Espanol
Bubba and Bobby Joe rented a boat and fished in a lake every day. One day they caught 30 fish. Bubba said to Bobby Joe,
“Mark this here spot so that we can come back right here again tomorrow.”
The next day, when they were driving to rent the boat, the Bubba asked Bobby Joe, “Bobby Joe, did you mark that there spot like ah tole ya?”
His friend replied, “Shore nuff, I put a big ole ‘X’ on the bottom of the boat.”
“You stupid fool! Now, what we gonna do if we don’t get that same boat today?!”
04/17/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9416
Daily Joke: A Young Ventriloquist en Espanol
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he’s doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he’s going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting.
”I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being?
It’s guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general…and all in the name of humor!”
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ”You stay out of this, mister! I’m talking to that little idiot on your knee!”
04/16/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9415
Daily Joke: Draftee Exam en Espanol
A draftee went in for his physical wearing a truss and with a little convincing acting got his papers marked M.E. for Medically Exempt.
Afterward a friend borrowed the truss to wear for his physical. At the end of the examination the doctor stamped M.E. on his papers.
“Does that mean I’m medically exempt?” he asked. “No,” answered the doctor. “M.E. stands for Middle East. Anyone who can wear a truss upside down can certainly ride a camel.”
Found this funny?
Receive a joke daily by subscribing below