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03/16/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9379
Daily Joke: Dementia Test en Espanol
Test for Dementia Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can’t take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK? Let’s find out just how clever you really are.
First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second! To answer the second question, don’t take as much time as you took for the first question.
Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are…?
Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?
Third Question:
Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it. Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000 Now add 10. What is the total? Scroll down for answer.
Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100. Don’t believe it? Check with your calculator!
Fourth Question:
Mary’s father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?
Answer: Nunu?
NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary. Read the question again…
03/16/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9378
Daily Joke: The Race en Espanol
Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter.
Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.
As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.
Gasping for breath, she replied, “When I see two men from the gas company running as hard as you two were, I figured I’d better run too!”
03/15/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9377
Daily Joke: Home Cooked Meal en Espanol
A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?
His mother had an idea: “Why don’t you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home- cooked meal?”
He thought this was a great strategy, and arranged a date for a week later. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone.
“The evening was a disaster,” he moaned.
“Why, didn’t she come over?” asked his mother.
“Oh, she came over, but she refused to cook….”
03/14/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9376
Daily Joke: Squeezing Lemons en Espanol
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet.
The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.
Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it.
One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice “I’d like to try the bet.”
After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.
But the crowd’s laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.
As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man “what do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?”
The man replied “I work for the IRS.”
03/13/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9375
Daily Joke: How Fast? en Espanol
Little Johnny was talking to a couple of boys in the school yard. Each was bragging about how great their fathers are.
The first one said: “Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow!”
The second one said: “Ha! You think that’s fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet!”
Little Johnny listened to the other two boys and shook his head. He then said: “Sorry, dudes… but MY DAD is the fastest. He’s a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30,… and he’s home by 3:45!”
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