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03/02/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9364
Daily Joke: Football and Confession en Espanol
Years ago, the chaplain of the football team at Notre Dame was a beloved old Irish priest.
At confession one day, a football player told the priest that he had acted in an unsportsmanlike manner at a recent football game. “I lost my temper and said some bad words to one of my opponents.” “Ahhh, that’s a terrible thing for a Notre Dame lad to be doin’,” the priest said. He took a piece of chalk and drew a mark across the sleeve of his coat.
“That’s not all, Father. I got mad and punched one of my opponents.”
“Saints preserve us!” the priest said, making another chalk mark.
“There’s more. As I got out of a pileup, I kicked two of the other team’s players in the . . . in a sensitive area.”
“Oh, goodness me!” the priest wailed, making two more chalk marks on his sleeve. “Who in the world were we playin’ when you did these awful things?”
“Southern Methodist.”
“Ah, well,” said the priest, wiping his sleeve, “boys will be boys.”
03/02/2015 from Jim Wint
#9363
Daily Joke: Irish Joke en Espanol
Q. What is Irish and stays outdoors all night long?
A. Patty O’Furniture
03/01/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9362
Daily Joke: Bridal Registry en Espanol
My sister, went to the department store to check out the bridal registry of our niece whose wedding was coming up soon. When my sister returned from the store, she tossed the gift list on a table and declared, “I think she’s too young to get married.”
“Why do you say that?” I asked.
“Because,” she said, “they registered for Nintendo games.”
02/28/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9361
Daily Joke: Things Heard Before Unemployment en Espanol
I don’t know what we’ll do without you, but we are certainly going to try!
We told everyone you are leaving because of illness. The truth is, I’m sick of you.
Its not that you aren’t a responsible worker. In fact, you’ve been responsible for more disasters than any one else in the place.
Today I’m going to mix business and pleasure. You’re fired!
I’ve got good news for you. You won’t have to worry about being late for work ‘ever again’.
Tell me – how long have you been with us not counting tomorrow?
02/28/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9360
Daily Joke: Facts about Men en Espanol
We might have run these before, but in case you missed — they’re a hoot:
Husbands are like children — they’re fine if they’re someone else’s.
Never trust a man who says he’s the boss at home. He probably lies about other things too.
A woman’s work that is never done is the stuff she asked her husband to do.
Go for younger men. You might as well — they never mature anyway.
Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men — a woman.
Men’s brains are like the prison system — not enough cells per man.
Men are like place mats. They only show up when there’s food on the table.
Men are like mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like bike helmets. Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.
Men are like parking spots. All the good ones are taken.
Men are like lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that bright.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don’t generate much interest.
Men are like high heels. They’re easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
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