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02/21/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9354
Daily Joke: What Will You Do For Golf? en Espanol
Four married guys go golfing on Sunday. During the 3rd hole the following conversation ensued:
First Guy: “Man, you have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.”
Second Guy: “That’s nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool.”
Third Guy: “Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her.”
They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they ask him. “You haven’t said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What’s the deal?”
Fourth Guy: “I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s just say that the foundation for the new house is being poured next Tuesday.”
02/20/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9353
Daily Joke: Millionaire en Espanol
John is appearing on “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” with Regis Philbin.
Regis, “John, you’re up to $500,000 with one lifeline left: phone a friend. If you get it right, the next question is worth one million dollars. If you get it wrong, you drop back to $32,000. Are you ready?”
John, “Yes.”
Regis, “Which of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it A)robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) pigeon.”
John, “I’d like to phone a friend. I’d like to call Mary.”
Mary answers the phone: “Hello?”
Regis, “Hello Mary, it’s Regis Philbin from Who Wants to be a Millionaire. I have your friend John here who needs your help to answer the one million dollar question. The next voice you hear will be John’s…”
John, “Mary, which of the following birds does not build it’s own nest? Is it A) robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) pigeon.”
Mary, “Oh, John. That’s simple. It’s a cuckoo.”
John: “Are you sure?”
Mary, “I’m sure.”
Regis, ” You heard Mary. Do you keep the $500,000 or play for the million?”
John, “I want to play; I’ll go with C) cuckoo.”
Regis, “Is that your final answer?”
John, “Yes.”
Regis “Are you confident?”
John “Yes; I think Mary’s pretty smart.”
Regis, “You said C) cuckoo, and you’re right! Congratulations, you have just won one million dollars!”
To celebrate, John flies Mary to New York. That night they go out on the town. As they’re celebrating, John looks at Mary and asks her, “Tell me, how did you know that it was the cuckoo that does not build its own nest?”
“That’s easy, everybody knows they live in clocks.”
02/19/2015 from Roger Stevens
#9352
Daily Joke: Mr en Espanol
Three ghosts were in a bar getting wasted, early in the morniing they step out of the bar into a tornado. Talk about three sheets to the wind.
02/19/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9351
Daily Joke: Magician en Espanol
“What’s your father’s occupation?” asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic year.
“He’s a magician, Ma’am” said the new boy.
“How interesting. What’s his favorite trick?”
“He saws people in half.”
“Gosh! Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?”
“One half brother and two half sisters.”
02/18/2015 from Daily Jokes
#9350
Daily Joke: Better Relationship en Espanol
A man walked into a therapist’s office looking very depressed. “Doc, you’ve got to help me. I can’t go on like this.”
“What’s the problem?” the docotor inquired.
“Well, I’m 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away.”
“My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you’ll have women buzzing all around you.”
The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden expression on his face.
“Did my advice not work?” asked the doctor.
“It worked alright. For the past several weeks I’ve enjoyed some of the best moments in my life with the most fabulous looking women.”
“So, what’s your problem?”
“I don’t have a problem,” the man replied. “My wife does.”
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