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11/26/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9264
Daily Joke: Killer Jigsaw Puzzle en Espanol
Jazzmin O’Shea, a blonde accountant calls her boyfriend and says, Please come over here and help me…I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started.”
Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?” The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She Lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.” Second, I’d advise you to relax. Let’s have a cup of coffee, then………………lets put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box.
11/25/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9263
Daily Joke: Two Hunters en Espanol
Two hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were quite successful in their venture and bagged six big bucks. The pilot came back, as arranged, to pick them up.
They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk. But the pilot objected and he said,
“The plane can only take four of your elk; you will have to leave two behind.”
They argued with him; the year before they had shot six and the pilot had allowed them to put all aboard. The plane was the same model and capacity.
Reluctantly, the pilot finally permitted them to put all six aboard. But when the attempted to take off and leave the valley, the little plane could not make it and they crashed into the wilderness.
Climbing out of the wreckage, one hunter said to the other,
“Do you know where we are?”
“I think so,” replied the other hunter. “I think this is about the same place where we crashed last year.”
11/24/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9262
Daily Joke: Sharing a Bed en Espanol
Two drunks, Santa and Banta, enter a hotel late at night. They approach the clerk, and Santa says, “Could you pleash give ush a bed with two rooms?”
“You mean a room with two beds?” asks the clerk.
“Whatever, whatever you shay.”
So they get a key and somehow manage to stumble upstairs to their room. After fumbling for ten minutes, they even manage to get their door open. As they stumble inside, the door closes behind them and they are in total darkness. They go forward slowly, and both fall on the bed closest to the door.
“Ahh,” says Santa, “Now we can get some sleep at last.”
As they try to rearrange themselves, they suddenly realize that they are not alone in their bed.
“Hey! There’s somebody in my bed!” says Banta.
“There’s somebody in my bed too!” says Santa.
“Let’s get rid of them. We paid for this room and we’re going to sleep in the beds!” says Banta.
They start a tremendous struggle. They heave and push until eventually Santa throws Banta on the floor.
“ALL RIGHT!!” Santa shouts, “I’ve thrown mine off the bed.”
“You’re lucky,” says Banta, “I got thrown off and I’m too tired to fight any more.”
“Well, never mind,” says Santa, “Why don’t you just come and share my bed. Let’s get some sleep round here.”
11/23/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9261
Daily Joke: Three Years Old en Espanol
Three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.
He inquisitively asked the lady, “Why is your stomach so big?”
She replied, “I’m having a baby.”
With big eyes, he asked, “Is the baby in your stomach?”
She answered, “He sure is.”
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, “Is it a good baby?”
She said, “Oh, yes. It’s a real good baby.”
With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked, “Then why did you eat him?”
11/22/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9260
Daily Joke: Railway Company en Espanol
Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to Kuala Lumpur.
Station Master : No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy.
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