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07/08/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9124
Daily Joke: Old Couple en Espanol
A couple who’d been married for over 50 years was sitting on the sofa, when the wife said, “Dear, do you remember how you used to sit close to me?”
He moved over and sat close to her.
“Dear,” she continued, “do you remember how you used to hold me tight?”
He reached over and held her tight.
“And,” she went on, “do you remember how you used to hug me and kiss me and nibble on my ear?”
With that, her husband got up and started to walk out of the room.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“Well,” answered the husband, “I have to get my teeth.”
07/07/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9123
Daily Joke: Railroad Accident en Espanol
In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court.
At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he’d done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed.
“Congratulations,” the lawyer said to the engineer when it was over. “You did superbly under cross-examination.”
“Thanks,” he said, “but he sure had me worried.”
“How’s that?” the lawyer asked.
“I was afraid he was going to ask if the damned lantern was lit!”
07/06/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9122
Daily Joke: Drunks en Espanol
Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, “What a beautiful night, look at the moon.”
The other drunk stops and look at his drunk friend. “You are wrong, that’s not the moon, that’s the sun.”
Both started arguing for a while when they come upon another drunk walking, so they stopped him. “Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that’s shining. Is it the moon or the sun?”
The third drunk looked at the sky and then looked at them and said, “Sorry, I don’t live around here.”
07/05/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9121
Daily Joke: Advestise That Bind en Espanol
Two advertising executives were having lunch and talking. The young exec trainee said to the older, wiser man, “Where has Ben Harris been hanging out? I haven’t seen him for a while.”
The senior exec replied, “Haven’t you heard? Ben Harris went to that great ad agency in the sky.”
“Good Lord,” replied the junior man, “You’re kidding me, right? What did he have?”
“Oh, nothing much,” replied the elder exec. “A small toothpaste account and a couple of discount stores, but nothing much worth going after.”
07/04/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9120
Daily Joke: One Froggy Evening en Espanol
An old man was walking in the forest when he heard by his feet a very weak voice.
He bent down to look and saw that the voice came from a little frog: “I’m a beautiful, erotic and sensual princess, skilled in all the carnal pleasures of love. An evil queen, envious of my charms, turned me into a frog, but if you kiss me I will once again be a fair maiden, and I will provide you with all the joys and delights of my voluptuous temperament and my ardent lust.
The old man picked up the little frog and put her into his pocket.
Bewildered, the frog looked out and asked:
“What, you’re not going to kiss me?”
“Nope,” replied the old man. “At my age it’s more fun to have a talking frog than a sex maniac.”
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