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06/03/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9089
Daily Joke: Water in the Carburetor en Espanol
My wife came home yesterday and said, “Honey, the car won’t start, but I know what the problem is.”
I asked her what it was, and she told me there was water in the carburetor. I thought for a moment, then said, “You know, I don’t mean this offensively, but you don’t know the carburetor from the accelerator.”
“No, there’s definitely water in the carburetor,” she insisted.
“OK Honey, that’s fine, I’ll just go take a look. Where is it?”
“In the lake.”
06/02/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9088
Daily Joke: I'm trying to prove a point en Espanol
A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit; she gets two shot glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey.
After getting him to the table that had the glasses, she brings his bait box. She says “I want you to see this.” She puts a worm in the water it, and it swims around.
She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, “what do you have to say about this experiment?”
He responds by saying: “If I drink whiskey, I won’t get worms!”
06/01/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9087
Daily Joke: What type of prize did you win? en Espanol
A blonde goes to the local restaurant, buys a small drink for herself, and sits down to drink it. She notices a peel-off prize sticker on the side of her cup while she is drinking. After pulling off the tab, she begins screaming, “I won a motor home! I won a motor home!”
The waitress runs over and argues, “That’s impossible. The biggest prize given away was a stereo system!”
The blonde replies, “No. I won a motor home!”
By this time, the manager makes his way over to the table, and he too argues, “You couldn’t possibly have won a motor home because we didn’t have that as one of our prizes.”
Again the blonde says, “There is no mistake! I won a motor home!”
The blonde hands the prize ticket to the manager and he reads, “WIN A BAGEL.”
05/31/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9086
Daily Joke: Just Golf en Espanol
To celebrate 50 years of marriage, a couple booked a weekend at St. Andrews. On the third tee, the husband you, “Darling, I have to confess something. Twenty years ago I had a brief affair. It meant nothing. I hope that you can forgive me.”
His wife was hurt but said, “Dearest, those days are long gone. What we have now is far more valuable. I forgive you.” They embraced and kissed.
On the seventeenth tee the wife said to her husband, “Darling, since we’re being honest with each other, I have something to tell you. Fifty-two years ago I had a sex change operation, I was a man before we met.”
The husband threw a fit! He cursed, threw his driver away, broke the rest of his clubs one by one, tore at his clothes, screamed and ranted,”You liar, you despicable cheat! How could you? I trusted you, and you have been playing off from the ladies’ tee all these years!”
05/30/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9085
Daily Joke: Drunk and Lost en Espanol
A drunk is walking along and smacks into a tree. He backs up a few paces, and walks into the tree again. He does it again. He mumbles, “This is great. I was supposed to be home hours ago, and now here I am lost in the forest.”
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