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04/26/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9049
Daily Joke: My Confidence en Espanol
A burglar, needing money to pay his income taxes, decided to rob the safe in a store. On the safe door he was very pleased to find a note reading:
“Please don’t use dynamite. The safe is not locked. Just turn the knob.”
He did so.
Instantly a heavy sandbag fell on him, the entire premises were floodlighted, and alarms started clanging.
As the police carried him out on a stretcher, he heard moaning: “My confidence in human nature has been rudely shaken.”
04/25/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9048
Daily Joke: Love and Sex en Espanol
At the couples retreat, a couple was told to individually write a sentence using the words ‘sex’ and ‘love.’
The woman wrote: ‘When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love with one another to a high degree and that they respect each other very much, just like him and I, it is spiritually and morally acceptable for them to engage in the act of physical sex with one another.’
The man wrote: ‘I love sex.’
04/24/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9047
Daily Joke: Under Oath en Espanol
“You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background,” sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand.
“If I wasn’t under oath, I’d return the compliment,” replied the witness.
03/01/2016 from Daily Jokes
#9046
Daily Joke: Blondes change a lightbulb en Espanol
Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:
Blonde: We need help. We’re three blondes changing a light bulb.
Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?
Blonde: Yes.
Operator: The power in the house in on?
Blonde: Of course.
Operator: And the switch is on?
Blonde: Yes, yes.
Operator: And the bulb still won’t light up?
Blonde: No, it’s working fine.
Operator: Then what’s the problem?
Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around, and we all fell and hurt ourselves.
04/22/2014 from Daily Jokes
#9045
Daily Joke: Grocery Money en Espanol
Man to wife: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I’ve been giving you?
Wife: Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
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