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The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.
Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?”
A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, “A basketball coach?”
A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit prior to the birth of their first child. After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife’s stomach with indelible ink.
The couple was curious about what the stamp was for, so when they got home, the man dug out his magnifying glass to try to see what it was. In very tiny letters the stamp said, “When you can read this, come back and see me.”
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.
The children fell to discussing the dog’s duties.
“They use him to keep crowds back,” said one youngster.
“No,” said another, “he’s just for good luck.”
Then a third child brought the argument to a close. “They use the dog,” she said firmly, “to find the fire hydrant.”
Jon is working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the buzz saw, when he accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers. He goes to the emergency room.
The doctor says, “Yuck! Well, give me the fingers, and I’ll see what I can do.”
Jon says, “I haven’t got the fingers.”
The doctor says, “What do you mean, you haven’t got the fingers? It’s 2000. We’ve got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have put them back on and made you like new. Why didn’t you bring the fingers?”
Jon says, “Well, Doc, I couldn’t pick ‘em up.”
After drafting a will for an elderly client, the attorney announced a fee of $100.
The client gave the attorney a $100 bill.
After the client left, the attorney saw that the client had in fact paid $200, as two of the client’s $100 bills had stuck together.
Looking at the $100 overpayment, an ethical question arose in the attorney’s mind: “Do I tell my partner?”
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