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01/12/2014 from Daily Jokes
#8945
Daily Joke: Karate Chopped en Espanol
There was a little guy sitting at a bar drinking a beer. A while later a huge guy walked into the bar and he went up to the little guy and karate chopped him in the back. The little guy fell off his bar stool and when he got up the big guy said, “That was a karate chop from Korea.”
The big guy went to the restroom and the little guy ordered himself another beer. About 20 minutes later the big guy came back and karate chopped the little guy in the back again. The little guy got up and dusted himself off and the big guy told him,”That was a karate chop from China.”
The little guy got up and decided he wasn’t going to take any more of this, so he left the bar. About an hour later the little guy comes back to the bar and he hits the big guy in the back. The big guy is knocked out cold and hes on the floor. The little guy tells the bartender , “Tell him that was a crowbar from Sears!”
01/11/2014 from Daily Jokes
#8944
Daily Joke: The Picture en Espanol
George had responded to a call from his attorney, insisting that they meet at once. He arrived at his lawyer’s firm, and was ushered into his office.
“Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” the lawyer asked.
“Well, if those are my choices, I guess I’ll take the bad news first.”
“Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars.”
“That’s the bad news?” George was stunned? “If you call that bad, I can’t wait to hear the terrible news.”
“The terrible news is that it’s of you and your secretary.”
01/10/2014 from Daily Jokes
#8943
Daily Joke: Old Friend en Espanol
A doctor had just bought a villa on the French Riviera, when met an old lawyer friend whom he hadn’t seen in years, and they started talking. The lawyer, as it turned out, owned a nearby villa. They discussed how they came to retire to the Riviera.
“Remember that lousy office complex I bought?” asked the lawyer, “Well, it caught fire, and I retired here with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?”
The doctor replied, “Remember that real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds. It’s amazing that we both ended up here in pretty much the same way.”
“It sure is,” the lawyer replied, looking puzzled, “but I’m confused about one thing – how do you start a flood?”
01/09/2014 from Daily Jokes
#8942
One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.
Tom wasn’t happy about that: “When are you going to learn to be polite?”
Bill: “If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?”
Tom: “The smaller piece, of course.”
Bill: “What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want, right?”
01/08/2014 from Daily Jokes
#8941
Daily Joke: Choosing a Lawyer en Espanol
A businessman was trying to choose a lawyer, but was being very careful about it. He scheduled appointments to interview three lawyers.
At the first lawyer’s office, after an initial exchange of pleasantries, the businessman said, “Okay, let’s get down to business. I have an important question for you, and I want you to think carefully before answering. How much is two plus two?”
The lawyer raised his eyebrows. “two plus two is four.” The businessman thanked him for his time, and proceeded to his next appointment.
The second lawyer, who was also a CPA, seemed a bit more particular than the first lawyer. After an initial discussion, the businessman again announced that he had a very important question, and asked, “How much is two plus two?”
The second lawyer went over to a computer, and entered figures into a spreadsheet. “According to my calculations, two plus two is approximately four.” The businessman thanked him for his time, and proceeded to his next appointment.
The third lawyer sat behind a big mahogany desk, and smoked a cigar. He seemed rather self-important as compared to the other two, but at the same time appeared to be much more successful. The businessman again announced, “I would like you to answer a very important question for me, before I decide whether I should use your services. How much is two plus two?”
The lawyer pulled the shades, locked the door to his office, and asked in a hushed voice, “How much do you want it to be?”
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